Good morning and greetings, chocolate bar fans. That’s right, boys and squirrels, yesterday we celebrated the festival of sugar also known as Halloween, where our children leave home with full hearts and empty shopping bags and return with enough bite-sized loot to feed the poor in Calcutta and Beverly Hills for an entire World Series.
For my golden-haired daughter, this means enough candy action to cruise right thru Valentine’s Day and beyond. We’re talking snack size Hershey’s, Nestle’s Crunch, M & M’s, Almond Joys, Twix, along with an apple and some cash given by neighbors who forgot to go and and purchase the necessary ammunition to ward off these sugar-driven young soldiers of incredibly good fortune.
As a child, this day was always greatly anticipated, much like my last visit to the orthodontist. The planning of the chocolate, the gathering of the chocolate and then the emptying out of the cocoa loot was akin to a religious experience. Gazing upon those mini-mountains of full-sized packaged delights, lined up by brand grouping gave me a strong sense of accomplishment and hope for the future, like when I first realized I had the unique look, magnificent complexion and great hair to be a runway model.
This holiday teaches children how to put together a game plan, follow through and experience closure, as when their parents scream, “That’s enough, no more damn trick or treating!” And the beautiful thing is, if your child’s bag gets filled up and is too heavy to carry, they can always come home, dump it out and begin their pilgramage again. Which brings to mind the Steve Martin line, “Always carry a litter bag in your car, because if it gets filled up, you can always throw it out the window.” And while you’re at it, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.
So in honor of this chocolately delicious holiday, we are photographically heading four miles up the north coast to the U Pick Em Pumpkin Patch at Rodoni Farms. This palatial plot of pumpkin pleasantries is located across the road from sands of Four Mile Beach (photo #2.) Nothing like having a white water view while exploring the landscape in search of a future carving companion. You know what they say, they’re nothing like a boy and his gourd.
The first shot features the pumpkins on the same day they were plucked from the growing fields on the other side of Highway 1 (photo #3.) You can see that the freshly-snipped stems are still green, which is the same color my face turned the last time I went out for a sailboat ride on the bay in choppy waters. To quote the Jewish Defense League slogan on the possibility of any future sailing trips, “Never Again.”
The red pumpkins are LaRouge/Cinderella, a deep red, French baking delight. Personally, I like to fill them with brie cheese and then surrender. The gray are Jaradhale from Australia, which are a staple in the Aussie’s diet as they eat them like potatoes. As Donna, who oversees this coastal establishment once told me, “Everything here is grown to be eaten. And stop playing with that spaghetti squash. It’s not a football.”
Now here are a few more fun facts about our friend the pumpkin. They were once thought to be a cure for freckles. Pumpkins are 90% water and 10% juice. The name pumpkin originated from “pepon,” the greek word for large melon or Rush Limbaugh. The largest pumpkin pie ever baked was five feet in diameter, weighed 350 pounds, took six hours to bake and was devoured by a thin man with one scoop of vanilla ice cream. And finally, the world record pumpkin was a 1,689-pound giant grown in 2007 by Joe Jutras of Rhode Island. And just think about how big it could have gotten if had a larger state to grow in.
Let’s head to the late night action. “Sunday is Halloween — it’s the scariest day of the year. Unless you’re a Democrat – then it’s next Tuesday. According to a new L.A. Times poll in the gubernatorial race here in California, Jerry Brown now leads Meg Whitman 52 percent to 39 percent. She spent $163 million of her own money and she’s behind by 13 points. That’s the biggest expenditure of money for a loss since the Yankees. The man Dick Cheney shot in the face on that hunting trip four years ago says that Cheney has never apologized. Hey pal, join the club. The rest of the country is way in front of you.” –Jay Leno
“Last night on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ Bristol Palin came out dressed in a gorilla costume. They say this is the closest a member of the Palin family has ever come to acknowledging evolution. Apparently the Octomom still has 29 frozen embryos, which is almost enough to give one to each Chilean miner. I think it’s time for President Obama to build a border fence around the Octomom’s uterus.” –Jimmy Kimmel The main purpose of the North Korean demonstration was to introduce Kim Jong Il’s new heir-apparent – his youngest son, Kim Jong Un. But don’t be deceived…his cheeks are, in fact, not chubby. He’s storing up evil for the winter.” –Jon Stewart
“Delaware Republican senate candidate Christine O’Donnell blamed her campaign’s recent troubles on unfair coverage in the “liberal media.” Yup, the liberal media used two of its favorite tricks on her: ‘Record’ and ‘Play.’” –Seth Meyers “According to news reports, Christine O’Donnell’s father used to play Bozo the Clown. It must be weird when your father is a grown man dressing up like a clown, and you’re the embarrassment in the family.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Jackass 3D” just opened. It’s the life story of New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino.” –David Letterman
So welcome to November, as October, like my hopes and dreams of being being a good free throw shooter, are gone with the wind. Shot a couple of gorgeous sunrises and a sunset this week, so you know, like the elections on Tuesday, they’ll be coming down the pike. So I say, vote early and vote often and we’ll catch you coming out of the bullpen. Aloha, mahalo and later, Brian Wilson fans.