April 27, 2014

The Hass That Rudolph Built

Filed under: Uncategorized — geoff @ 8:53 am

Good morning and greetings, NBA lovers. There have been some exciting marine life sightings on Monterey Bay, as last Sunday, 18 to 20 Orcas were spotted Easter egg hunting a gray whale and its calf. It didn’t end well for the calf.

Although I didn’t view any killer whales, I was lucky enough to witness some either humpbacks or grays cruising along West Cliff on my morning strolls. Throw in a big midweek swell and a mix of dolphins and sea birds and it was business was booming on the continent’s edge.

So I was body surfing the internet last week when I came across a story written by Jonathan Kauffman for sfgate.com. In it he mentioned a study by an Arizona State University professor that went viral, when it projected that this historic California drought, which has parched 100 percent of the state, was about to drive avocado prices up by as much as 28%.

Holy guacamole, Batman. Now we’re talking about the sacred avocado, which is one of the foods I was encouraged to eat during my no wheat, low carb, semi-starvation diet that enabled me to drop over 10 pounds and lower my cholesterol to a level of a healthy zebra.

Since the program worked, I’ve been dining on avocados like they’re Double Chocolate Milano Pepperidge Farm cookies. I’ve always been a guacamole fan, but my new eating regimen has taken it to heights never seen before in the Jewish religion.

But hold on to your salsa and chips, as according to farmers, industry representatives and a spokesman for FX’s cold war drama series, “The Americans,” the price spike is not going to happen this year. Turns out it was just a false alarm, as wholesale prices are up 16% from a year ago, but it doesn’t have much to do with the drought or the lovely KGB’s Kerry Russell’s choice of disguises.

It’s the avocado trees genetic makeup. One year they’re full on heavy with fruit, the next year much lighter. That’s just the way the trees roll.

Last year, California produced a giant crop of 500 million pounds of avocados. This year, the Golden State is on track to produce 300 million pounds, which is pretty much average. This helps feeds the nation on Super Bowl Sunday, when over 50 million pounds are consumed along with 400 tons of chips and enough salsa to fill the Panama Canal.

And the good news is, as compared to the San Joaquin Valley, which is as dry as dust bowl, neither of the state’s two biggest avocado-growing regions are currently hurting for water, so avocado salad lovers can breathe a little easier.

So what do we really know about the single seeded berry avocado? Well, according to the folks at www.californiaavocado.com, the avocado originated in south-central Mexico, although archaeologists in Peru found some early domesticated avocado seeds and fossilized tortilla chips buried with Incan mummies and daddies.

The Spanish conquistadores, when they weren’t busy destroying the Aztec empire, loved the flavor, texture, nutritional value and culinary versatility of avocados. They also used it to keep their swords shiny.

But these fun-loving conquerors had trouble pronouncing the Aztec word ahuacatl, which means “testicle tree.” Talk about low hanging fruit. So they changed it to aguacate, which is the origin of guacamole, and that eventually became avocado in English. I’m just wondering if the Aztecs had a word for Hanukkah bush?

Now back in 1871, Judge R.B. Ord introduced avocados to the U.S., when he planted three trees in Santa Barbara, CA. The Golden State is now home to 90 percent of the nation’s avocado crop. 95% is of the Hass variety, with its distinctive skin that turns from green to purplish-black when ripe.

For that we can thank Rudolph Hass, a postman, who patented the Hass avocado tree in 1935. The first Hass avocado tree he raised is still alive and producing fruit. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for old Rudy.

Avocados are grown year-round in California. A single tree can produce up to 500 pieces, although most average around 60 pounds or 150 pieces of fruit. But before you start tearing up the backyard and planting any seeds, remember it takes 7-15 years before you’ll see any guacamole.

Avocados are sodium, cholesterol and worry-free. They are loaded with unsaturated fats, which are important for the normal growth and development of the central nervous system and brain, which most people seem to value.

Unlike a chocolate covered donut, avocados are gluten free. They have the highest protein content of any fruit and contain more potassium than bananas. Avocados are a fruit that were once a luxury food reserved for the tables of royalty, but now any prison inmate has access to them.

Much like the Osmond family, avocado trees do not self-pollinate, as they need another avocado tree close by to bear fruit. These fruits are not loners, as they grow in pairs on trees. They are fleshy, dramatic and climacteric, meaning they mature on the tree but ripen off of the tree. Sounds like my childhood development.

So here’s my favorite joke about another fruit disguised as a vegetable.

A beautiful blonde woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?”

The gentlemen responded, “Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.”

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, “By the way, How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?”

“No” she replied, “but my cucumbers are enormous.”

So for today’s photo highlights, we are returning to Lighthouse Point on the morning of January 6. These images represent a sampling of what world-class Santa Cruz sunrises are all about. The changing colors of the clouds were magnificent, as I cruised along West Cliff trying to capture different angles of these moments of light and drama.

They say it’s darkest before dawn, but the light that followed on this morning was definitely show worthy. As I write this, sitting in my photo archives are close to twenty exotic sunrises and sunsets from this past January and February, just waiting for their invitation to the cyber party. So keep your dial tuned to this station.

On to some late night humor. “A zoo in China has a depressed panda so they just installed a TV in its cage to cheer it up. Then the panda said, “Or, you could let me out of animal jail.” – Jimmy Fallon Today is John Muir Day. He is the father of our national parks, the most famous naturalist of all time. He devoted his life to preserving nature. Without his tireless effort, America would be a dirty, over-developed commercial wasteland. Or as we call that here, “Los Angeles.” – Craig Ferguson

“The Christian Science Monitor is claiming “Hillary Clinton will be a tad less interested in running for president now that she’s about to be a grandmother.” And if you put a grain of sand in your pocket there’s a tad less sand on the beach. A Kansas man on trial for first-degree murder wants to remove a tattoo across his neck reading “murder” because he’s worried it might prejudice the jury. Though he might be able to create reasonable doubt by just adding a question mark.” – Seth Meyers

“The Yankees played last night and their pitcher had pine tar on his neck. You can’t have a foreign substance on your neck. Why can’t the guy be like everybody else and just forget the pine tar and use the steroids? I don’t know what’s the matter with that pitcher. There’s only one place for pine tar in baseball and that’s on the hot dogs.” – David Letterman

So that’s our last blast for April 2104. I hope you’ve enjoyed the first week of the NBA playoffs as they have been more than epic. We’ll catch you amazing the crowds and stepping up your game in your first playoff appearance. Aloha, mahalo and later, Damian Lillard fans.

April 20, 2014

So Let’s Root, Root, Root For The Home Teeth

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — geoff @ 2:06 pm

Good morning and greetings, NBA playoff fans. Last week, I was searching high and low for a subject to entertain my cyber readers. Being in the holiday spirit, I was looking for something upbeat, like an Easter bunny winning the lottery and setting all his friends and family in cages free.

Well, after a trip to the dentist office last Thursday, I had found my story. But it’s not all warm and fuzzy. I have to face it. For me, there’s no escaping the dental reaper.

But before I get into my newest dilemma, let me update you on my brother Brad. He had total knee reconstruction surgery last Tuesday and it went very well, or at least as well as it could go when severe pain is involved. He emailed in the middle of the night last Thursday morning, in the midst of the most continuous pain he had experienced in all his 55 years as a New York Giants fan.

At that point he had enough drugs in his system to open a pharmacy, but it still wasn’t enough, as the pain was beyond excruciating.

But he is starting to come around slowly, although he’ll be off the grid for a while as he recovers. He’s already had surgery on this knee once before, so he knows all about how the physical therapy game is played.

But he’s experiencing pain at a level he’s never encountered before. It’s beyond brutal. I’m just hoping it’s gets tolerable real soon. I feel for him, as he’s like a brother to me and doesn’t deserve all the anguish and suffering.

They say fear and courage are brothers. If that’s the case, I don’t want to meet their sisters.

Now back to me. My teeth have always been a problem, a true achilles heel. I am quite familiar with the drill, fill and bill syndrome, as my childhood was filled with cavities. This led to a lifetime bonus of nightmares involving my teeth.

I know I didn’t have the greatest childhood dentist, as he never took any x-rays. He just held me up to the light. I remember him attempting to take out two of my wisdom teeth without putting me under. In retrospect, if I had had any wisdom, I would never have opened my mouth.

So last Thursday, I was greeting by a dental hygienist that I had never met. Not a good sign, as change is not good. She told me she only worked there two days a month. I replied, “This must be my lucky day.”

Having been blessed with soft teeth, the conglomeration of mercury in my mouth and the continuation through my 20′s and 30′s led me to becoming royalty, as I started getting crowns in my 40′s. Yeah, there’s nothing like biting down and cracking a tooth. Your tongue then automatically goes to the spot where the tooth once was and the party begins.

I now have approximately 65 gold crowns in my mouth while my dentist has a flourishing vineyard in Napa. Maybe that’s why I’m not crazy about the smell of my enamel burning.

Now back in 2001, I experienced rapid bone loss in my jaw and had to have a incisor tooth extracted. This led to a new game called ring around the implant. But I thought, well, that bone loss was just a fluke, and went on with with the rest of my so-called life.

But then in 2010, just to even the playing field, I cracked the upper incisor on the other side, which required another implant. I didn’t get it taken care of right away, as immediate attention wasn’t required and I wanted to savor the oral surgery experience.

Then in 2012, I was introduced to a new friend called root resorption. This little party trick involves my own living body cells attacking the root of my front teeth, leading to their destruction and subsequent extractions.

And here’s the bonus when it comes to root or tooth absorption. The greatest minds in science and medicine don’t know what causes the cells to unite and turn on me. It could have been my childhood orthodontic work (that’s what I’m guessing,) as my orthodontist left midway through my treatment and my case was taken over by some hack who took my braces off too soon.

Or there could have some trauma in the area, but a relatively large proportion of root resorption is of unknown cause, or “idiopathic,” leaving me feeling like the idiot.

So this led to getting two implants with some bone grafting for dessert. The upper implant was easy, but the lower one was very tricky. I remember waking up and hearing the words, “We couldn’t get the implant in.” Well, that led to more oral surgery fun, as the implant must grow in the jaw bone for six months before the crown is attached. And that forced me to wear plastic flippers to cover the empty spots in my mouth, as the only fashion work I was getting before that was modeling hockey jerseys.

But in early 2013, we finished up the work, and my mouth was as good as semi-new. I once again had a half a million dollar smile. But I was constantly haunted by the words of oral surgeon, who warned me that once you experience rapid root absorption, it’s not going away. It’s like I have Al Quaida plotting in my mouth.

And that bring us back to last Thursday. The x-rays showed that the cells have attacked my other bottom front tooth. My dentist said the tooth is “terminal.” Kaput.

I’ve gone through this before and know the drill. I may have a little bit of time, but I know the process that lies ahead. My dentist said my last implant was the most complicated procedure he’s seen in his 40 years. To quote the poet Ogden Nash, “Some tortures are physical. And some are mental. But the one that is both is dental.”

But I’m not complaining, as other people have it a lot worse. Like Brad. I’m just left wondering why.

But I’ll deal with it, however unpleasant as it may be. Because that’s the hand, er mouth, that I’ve been dealt.

But if I ever meet my orthodontist on the road, I will kill him.

So last week I showcased a beautiful sunrise from January 3, that lit up the morning sky with beauty and elegance. Today’s photos are the sunset from the same day. It was not nearly as spectacular as the morning colors, but it was about as much as I could absorb that night.
So just to show in light of the circumstances that I still have a sense of humor, here’s my favorite joke about dentists.

A couple of old guys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Lookner for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly friend remarked that he, too, had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first old gentleman asked. “Did he do a good job?”

The second gent replied, “Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it hit me right in the testicles.”

The first old guy was confused and asked, “What does that have to do with your dentures?” The second man answered, “That was the first time in two years that my teeth didn’t hurt.”

And one late night joke. “Today is the 50th anniversary of the first Rolling Stones album. The band is still going strong. Thanks, drugs.” – Craig Ferguson

So on to the NBA playoffs. We’ll catch you being MVP of the regular season as you go seek your first NBA championship. Aloha, mahalo and later, Kevin Durant fans.

April 13, 2014

97 Ain’t Exactly Heaven

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — geoff @ 9:05 am

Good morning and greetings, NBA western conference playoff fans. It’s been a big month for birthdays in the Gilbert family, as last Monday, both my son and brother celebrated with cake, candles and ice cream, along with pony rides and a little pin the tail on the MRI.

So to update my brother Brad’s knee reconstruction, his surgery was postponed until this week so they could do some more tests. But my youngest brother has maintained a positive attitude, unlike his oldest brother, who would be bemoaning his fate to anyone within the continental U.S or Hawaiian Islands.

He’s heard from many people concerning their thoughts on his current predicament. The consensus is that he’s lucky to be alive. My wife says he now has to figure out why he is alive after falling 800 feet down an Alaskan glacier.

I haven’t shared my opinion, as advice after injury is like medicine after death. Luckily, both Abe Lincoln and I agree that “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

By all accounts, his future is still ahead of him, as this catastrophic knee injury won’t keep him down for long. Or as Kobe Bryant once said, “I’ve played with IVs before, during and after games. I’ve played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a severed lip and a knee the size of a softball. I don’t miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn’t that serious in the first place.”

Kobe was referring to an injury to Shaquille O’Neal, who refused to comment on this story. He was too busy promoting his AriZona Beverage “Soda Shaq” line of cream sodas, which according to Charles Barkley, is “Spreading diabetes all across the world, as we speak. Got like 50 grams of sugar in one can of that cream soda.”

As it turns out, the Round Mound of Rebound was a bit off. A BevReview.com rundown of Soda Shaq noted that each 23.5-ounce can actually has 70.5 grams of sugar. Hey, who doesn’t love a drink boasting all-natural ingredients while containing just 1% juice? A big can for a big scam.

Or as the Center for Science in the Public Interest executive director Michale F. Jacobson put it, “Clearly, Shaq knows better. He has said he avoids soda himself, and worries about obesity and diabetes. But he’s now using his name, face, and reputation to make those health problems even bigger. It’s shameful hypocrisy, presumably motivated by money.”

It just goes to show when it comes to the Big Aristotle, it’s tough to separate a fool and his money.

Getting back to the birthday theme, Saturday was my father’s 97th birthday. That’s right. 97. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s nine decades plus seven years. Or to put it in simpler terms, that’s 5,244 weeks or approximately 35,405 days on the planet. Simply mindblowing.

My father is suffering from dementia, so his short term memory isn’t what it used to be. When I asked him a few months ago how old he was, he replied, “70.” He couldn’t even begin to fathom 97. When I asked him the same question on Friday, he couldn’t come up with an answer. Not even a guess.

America’s population of persons aged 90-and-older has almost tripled since 1980, reaching 1.9 million in 2010 and will continue to increase to more than 7.6 million over the next 40 years. People are living longer, but at what price?

There are a few advantages to being older. Basically, it’s that you can eat dinner at 4 pm. Someone once asked comedian George Burns what would he most appreciate getting for his 97th birthday. He replied, “A paternity suit.”

Birthdays are good for people, as statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. But the golden years have not been good to my father. He has been robbed of most of the joy that made up his life, and the dementia has put an incredible amount of stress on my mother, who at 88 years young, is no spring chicken.

But each day, with a little help from the pharmaceutical world, she puts a smile on her face and loves him just the same, although their relationship has totally changed, as she’s now not a equal partner, but a caregiver. I would actually give her the title of a saint, because dealing with dementia is a 24 hour, seven day a week bitch.

But my father still has his one greatest joy, and that is my mother. She’s the gift that keeps on giving.

So for the woman who never breast fed me, in honor of my father’s 97th birthday, here’s a little joke for you. And thanks for never worrying.

A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady, and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off great.

They continued to see each other for a while and enjoyed each other so much, and danced so well together, etc., that they decided to get married. On their wedding night, they went to bed and he reached over and took her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep.

On the second night, when they went to bed, he reached over and squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep. On the third night, he reached over and took her hand, and she said, “Not tonight, honey, I have a headache.”

So for today’s photo funhouse, we are leaving behind the glorious sunrises and sunsets of 2103 and turning the page to embrace the new year.

We are starting off with the sunrise from January 3, shot at the usual locations along West Cliff Drive, Lighthouse Point and Steamers Lane. It was a classic way to start off the 2014 festivities, as later in the day a gorgeous sunset stopped by to chat, which I will showcase next week.

Anytime I can capture a beautiful winter sunrise and sunset on the same day, I’m left with a feeling of fulfillment. At least until the next morning. So stay tuned.

On to some late night humor. “At the NCAA men’s basketball championship, President Clinton sat with President George W. Bush. In the second half, Bush tried to catch a foul ball.” –David Letterman “George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sat next to each other at the big game. Clinton congratulated UConn on its big win, while Bush gave Kentucky a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner.” –Jimmy Fallon

“A man got a tattoo saying that Kentucky won the NCAA tournament this year even though they lost. The tattoo is right above his tattoo congratulating President Mitt Romney.” –Conan O’Brien “President Obama invited the U.S. Olympic team to the White House yesterday to congratulate them on their performance in Sochi. Of course it got awkward when Biden told the biathletes, ‘I won’t rest until all you guys can get married.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“McDonald’s announced that it has closed its three restaurants in Crimea because of the tension in the region. Then Putin said, ‘Is good to hear. Even I don’t have weapon as destructive as McRib.’” –Jimmy Fallon “The North Korean dictator is in the news again. He was re-elected with 100 percent of the vote. He said, “I haven’t been this happy since I scored 700,000 on the SAT exam.” – Conan O’Brien

“Happy Birthday to Hugh Hefner. He turned 88 years old today. His friends threw him a big party. They had a naked woman jump out of a giant bran muffin.” – Jimmy Fallon “A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I’m not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million.” – Seth Meyers

“America’s biggest employer is Walmart, where the average wage is $8 dollars an hour. Meanwhile, Walmart’s owners are so absurdly rich that one of them, Alice Walton, spent over a billion dollars building an art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas. And she said about it, ‘For years I’ve been thinking about what we can do as a family that can really make a difference.’ How about giving your employees a raise, you deluded nitwit?” –Bill Maher

So that’s a wrap. We’ll catch you being the best shooter in the NBA by hitting mind-blowing threes at crunch time. Aloha, mahalo and later, Stephen Curry fans.

April 6, 2014

The Son, The Moon And The Births

Good morning and greetings, April fans. Well, last week we started off the new month with some spring showers, which according to my Mariah Carey wall calendar, will then lead to May flowers.

However, at my humble abode on the highly desirable upper westside of Santa Cruz, the gophers and rose bushes are already in full bloom, as my front yard is bursting with color, fragrance and a network of freshly dug tunnels that the recently captured Mexican cartel boss El Chapo would be proud to list on his resume.

Yes, the smell of spring is in the air. As I said to my wife the other day, “If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I’d be picking roses for a lifetime.” And she replied, “Just remember to turn on the dishwasher before you come upstairs.” Ah, another Hallmark moment.

It was back in 1967 that the Beatles released their psychedelic studio album, ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.’ Which brought us this classic Lennon and McCartney line, “It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper’s taught the band to play.”

So with a shout out to Billy Shears, I thought we might take a quick look back at what was happening two decades ago. Because if you don’t remember the past, you’ll never remember the future.

Taking a look at 1994, ‘Forrest Gump’ was number one at the box office and ‘Seinfeld’ was TV’s most popular show, as they were all masters of their domain. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The number one hit on the song charts was ‘All I Wanna Do’ by Sheryl Crow, a baseball strike cancelled the World Series and the Wonderbra was relaunched and celebrated as one of the greatest fashion innovations in history. Who knew?

And it was twenty years ago today, on April 7, 1994, that the world witnessed the start of the Rwandan genocide, where for a 100 day period, an estimated 500,000-1,000,000 Rwandans were slaughtered, going down as one of the most horrific and shameful events to occur in our lifetimes.

But out of darkness on this day came a shining light, in the form of a child, the birth of my son, Jason. He was supposed to have entered the world a day earlier, but due to my wife’s reluctance to go to the hospital after her water broke, his entering into the universe was delayed.

Now April 6 was a day to remember. We arrived in the morning at Little Company of Mary Hospital in Torrance, where I sensed that getting a kosher lunch was going to be a little tricky. All the birthing rooms where full, so they led us to the kitchen area and told us to wait. Ironically, there were bagels and cream cheese there to greet us, so the kosher action might still be a go.

We were supposed to meet our doula, who was going to be Allison’s labor coach. She was also a custom’s agent, and it turned out that day she had to go on a raid and was a no-show. This put me right up on the front line, as I was now husband, coach and the lifeline to our doctor, who didn’t want to make an appearance until our son’s cranium was crowning.

Allison took a long time before being fully dilated. As her coach, I kept flashing the bunt sign, but the runners weren’t moving. Finally, at 1:47 am, Jason flew the coop, and we were no longer just a couple, but now a family.

The next 60 minutes were the highest moments of my life, as I couldn’t believe what had popped out of my wife. We just sat there and stared at him like mental patients. Eventually a nurse came in to clean him up and took my order for some matzo brie.

Jason is now a second year pre-med student at UC Santa Barbara, majoring in biological sciences and beach volleyball. He’s grown into a compassionate young man with an thirst for knowledge, who still will occasionally let me beat him playing one-on-one. He really wants to make a difference. It just goes to show that sometimes the apple falls far away from the cherry tree and keeps rolling.

But Jason already had some company on this day. Back in 1959, in Manhattan’s Beth Israel Hospital, my brother Brad entered the picture. Neither my brother Paul or I attended the birth, as we were too busy watching ‘Crusader Rabbit,’ the first animated series produced specifically for television
Brad grew up in New Jersey, graduated from Amherst College and then headed west to seek his fortune. When he is not snowboarding, he is the President and CEO of People Productions, a video and digital based media company based in Boulder, Colorado.

Now Brad is his middle-aged years has become somewhat of a daredevil, unlike yours truly, who won’t leave his feet. His favorite hobby is heli-snowboarding, where the helicopter drops you off on the top of the glacier. I always feel that urge to accompany him on these trips, but I’m just not myself around avalanches.

So a couple of weeks ago, the helicopter dropped my youngest brother off at the summit of an Alaskan glacier, and while he was sitting on a cornice, it collapsed underneath him, sending him tumbling down a sheer 800 foot drop. He thought he was going to die, or at the least have something great to blog about.

It was a terrifying situation and when he finally stopped falling he was alive. However, his left knee took the brunt of the fall, with all the ligaments blown out like strands of linguine.

So for Brad’s 55th birthday, he’ll be at the Steadman Clinic in Vail, Colorado, prepping for major knee reconstruction surgery the following day. The outcome could have been much worse, but he’s facing a lengthy rehab program, with lots of physical therapy and sponge baths.

I’m just glad he got out alive and with use of all his limbs. Like his Denver Nuggets, he won’t be seeing any postseason action this year. But along with the Nuggets’ small forward Danilo Gallinari, who’s been sidelined all season with a knee injury, he’ll be back in uniform some time next year. So happy birthday, brother.

To check out his Alaskan escapade, click on http://www.glutenfreesnowboarder.com/2014/04/not-every-powder-tale-has-a-happy-ending/

As I mentioned earlier, we started off last week with some wet weather, and this brought some spectacular rainbows into prime time viewing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in photo mode, but it did not stop me from going back into the archives and bringing a few back into the light.

We start off with a lovely full arc double rainbow over the Santa Cruz Wharf, followed by another double shot off of West Cliff Drive.

We then jet over to the South Pacific, with a couple of doubles on Kauai’s beautiful Hanalei Bay. We finish up with the grand finale at Sunset Beach on Oahu’s famous North Shore, just step’s away from Ted’s Bakery, home of the world famous chocolate haupia cream pie.

I love these multicolored masterpieces of reflected and refracted light. It’s like what Charlie Chaplin had to say about rainbows. “You’ll never find one if you’re looking down.” Unless, of course, you’re at a gas station.

Or as my rabbi once told me, “We may run, walk, stumble, drive or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or to miss a chance to see a rainbow along the way.” Because that’s where happy little bluebirds fly.

On to some late night humor. “The Secret Service arrested a man today after he tried to scale a fence at the White House. They reportedly said to the man, ‘Sorry, but you still have two more years, Mr. President.’ A new study on unemployment shows that it is now harder to get a job at Wal-Mart than to get accepted at Harvard. Of course, it’s a lot easier if your dad went to Wal-Mart.” -Seth Meyers

“Willie Nelson’s stuffed armadillo has been returned after being stolen from a Las Vegas show. And I’m sure Willie was happy to get it back, considering what it’s probably stuffed with. That’s right, 75 percent of Americans think marijuana eventually will be legal, while the other 25 percent said, “What, it’s illegal?” – Seth Meyers

“California is having to drive 30 million salmon to the ocean because this year’s drought has dried up the rivers that normally get them there. Unfortunately, to make the salmon comfortable, the truckers had to drive against traffic.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Everybody’s excited about the beginning of baseball season. The Yankees are off to a rough start. They are 0-and-2. Alex Rodriguez, who is no longer a Yankee, sits home nights watching the games and injecting himself with dip.” – David Letterman

“The Discovery Channel just announced plans for a new miniseries. It’s hosting a race to land an unmanned spacecraft on the moon. So technically savvy individuals can compete to see who can get their spacecraft to the moon first. It will be televised live. The show aims to prove that people who are bright and determined and work hard can accomplish anything we already accomplished 50 years ago.” – Jimmy Kimmel

So enjoy tonight’s NCAA basketball championship. By the way, after viewing the top prospects in the McDonald’s All American Game last week, our college basketball guru, Dr. Michael Schur, has the Duke Blue Devils once again cutting down the nets in next year’s NCAA Final in Indianapolis. Seems the Dukies have reloaded.

So we’ll catch you coming back from a knee injury and displaying the explosiveness that makes you one of the top young guards in the game. Aloha, mahalo and later, Eric Bledsoe fans.

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