Good morning and greetings, severe weather fans. I’m still blown away by the power and destruction of the recent tornadoes, which wreaked havoc, death and destruction throughout the south and midwest. This has been the deadliest year for twisters since 1936, or back when the Republican party stood for something moral and decent.

So while nature’s most violent storms were leveling small towns while lifting homes and people’s lives off their foundations, another kind of destruction was going in our nation, but in a much more tropical setting. And in this scenario, it was more than tears that were flowing in the aftermath of this freaky Friday.

The Hawaii Tribune-Herald reported last Sunday that a lava flow destroyed the last home in the Big Island’s Puna district. The neighborhood’s last resident, Jack Thompson, left his home about an hour before the river of molten rock plowed down a hill and burned his house to the ground, which was not a great way to celebrate the end of the work week. Personally, whenever I see a river of volcanic ash headed in my direction, I always like to get at least a two-hour head start on my dash to higher ground.

“I got as much stuff out of there as was practical, and everything else, had to leave it,” Thompson said. The lava was “pretty much coming in the back as we were going out the front.” Call me inhospitable, but I always hate it when old friends or lava drop by uninvited.

“I’ve been on this mountain about 40 years, and this is the second house I’ve had in this subdivision,” Thompson said. “I don’t think anybody will be living up here anymore.” Just to play it safe, if Thompson changes his mind and returns to the neighborhood, he might want to consider renting.

Mount Kilauea has been continuously erupting since 1983 and like my weight gains, has shown no signs of stopping. Scientists warned several weeks ago that the lava was becoming more active. Over the years, it has destroyed homes, cut off roads and put a damper on neighborhood luaus.

“I’ve been preparing for this for years. You’re hoping for the best, but in time expect the inevitable,” Thompson said. “It could have gone somewhere else just as easily, but this time I was in the way.” In the words of the Rolling Stones, “Time and lava waits for no one.”

So what do we know about the most dangerous volcano in the United States? Mount Kilauea is located on the Big Island in Volcanoes National Park,which grows around 42 acres every year thanks to Kilauea’s eruptions and the Mauna Loa Nut Factory. Locals continue to worship and pay homage to the goddess Pele, who lives inside the volcano, making offerings of fruit, flowers, fish and fatburgers to soothe her fury and to thank her for her generosity in expanding the great land of Hawaii with her perennial eruptions and sponsorship of surf contests.

Kīlauea means “spewing, “much spreading, or holy crap, that’s hot” in Hawaiian. Thirty-five eruptions have taken place since 1952, the year my parents hit the jackpot. The volume of erupted material is large enough to pave a road around the world three times, not including toll plazas, vista points or Denny’s, a good place to sit and eat.

After Ted’s Bakery on the north shore of Oahu, home to the original chocolate haupia pie, Kilauea is the most visited attraction in Hawaii. The image of black rock, orange fire, volcanic fog, smoldering sea waves, smoke on the water and fire in the sky is a must-see for anyone who visits the Big Island. At least that’s what the people from www.exinarticles.com tell me. Like LeBron James, it’s one natural wonder you shouldn’t miss.

I’ve been to Volcanoes National Park and it was spectacularly eerie. Lava flows, steam rising out of the earth and craters the size of football fields made for an amazing adventure while on my honeymoon. The excursion there was just like my wedding night, except I didn’t develop a cramp.

But before we leave the South Pacific, here’s an aloha update. Last week, Hawaii Governor Steve McGarrett declared Oahu and Kauai disaster areas after three days of relentless rain and rainbows which caused mudslides, never before seen hail, water spouts, eensey, weensy spiders, a tornado, severe flooding, dangerous surf and a rerun of the new ‘Hawaii Five-O.’

It was a nightmare on the north shore of the Garden Isle as vacationers were paddle boarding through strip mall parking lots. So far, four feet of rain have fallen in a week with more storms on the way and no let up in sight. Sounds like it’s been a tad soggy for sun-loving vacationers. But like the slogan says, come get lei-ed, but if it’s in March, you might want to pack an umbrella.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos of Volcanoes National Park, as I hadn’t yet begun my digital journey. However, today I’m showcasing the beauty of our 50th state, starting in Kauai with a shot of Waimea Canyon, the island that was created by the collapse of a volcano approximately four million years and a week ago.

We then get into the flow of water with four spectacular beaches, starting with a double shot of Sunset Beach on the North Shore of Oahu. We then move on to the loveliness of Waimea Bay, before moving back to Kauai and Hanalei Bay, the location for the recent George Clooney drama, ‘The Descendents.’ We finish up at the golden sands of Lumahai Beach, where Mitzi Gaynor “washed that man right out of her hair” in ‘South Pacific’ before rinsing with a coconut oil hair conditioner.

On to the late night. “There is an HBO movie coming out about the 2008 presidential election. Apparently John McCain is very unhappy with the way he was portrayed. He said he came across as a clueless and angry man. No one had the heart to tell him he was watching the toaster.
Mitt Romney’s wife said she doesn’t even consider herself wealthy. Then she said, ‘If you don’t believe me, just ask my chauffeur. “Gas prices — it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can’t tell, of course, because of the Botox.” ” –Craig Ferguson

“Romney spent five and a half million bucks on TV advertising in the Super Tuesday states. Meanwhile, Ron Paul put a sticker on a light pole. Mitt Romney’s been out on the campaign trail even though he’s suffering from a terrible cold. I’m not surprised he’s sick. It’s very unsanitary to keep putting your foot in your mouth like that. It didn’t help matters that Romney kept blowing his nose into $100 bills.” –Craig Ferguson

“A man in Albuquerque has registered his dog to vote. Apparently the dog likes the current administration but he’s not sure he wants another 28 years of Obama.“Today is the multi-state primary known as ‘Super Tuesday.’ It’s going to be followed tomorrow by ‘Now we’re really stuck with Romney Wednesday.’” –Conan O’Brien “Last night was Super Tuesday – a 10-state GOP Primary orgy. A big, sweaty pile of lever-yankin’ Republican voters. And like most orgies, it involves a bunch of middle aged guys who are not appealing to women.” –Stephen Colbert

So that’s it for our update from the South Pacific. For college basketball fans, heaven has arrived as we begin three weeks of March Madness. If you like big dances, this is the prom we’ve all been waiting for.

Take a moment to be grateful everything you have. We’ll catch you hitting game winning shots at the buzzer when the other team doesn’t force you to give the ball up. Aloha, mahalo and later, Derrick Rose fans.

Good morning and greetings, Super Tuesday fans. Last week was a wild one, with killer tornadoes blasting through from Great Lakes to the Gulf Coast, Republican hopefuls Romney and Santorum blasting each other in the press and the tragic high school shootings in Ohio. Thank goodness things are going well in Afghanistan. So with all this devastation, I thought I would go with something light and fluffly this week, like a cheese souffle or a Sarah Palin foreign policy briefing.

While surfing the internet looking for information about why certain blogs don’t go viral, I came across www.blogspot.com and went right to the believe it or not section. So in the words of Micky Dolenz, with background vocals by the recently departed Davey Jones, “I’m in love, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave this site if I tried.”

So here are some facts that you may not have known and may well wish to quickly forget. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue, so it’s always an embarrassing situation when the veterinarian says, “Stick out your tongue and say ahh.” A snail can sleep for three years without having to once get up to go to the bathroom. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. Damn right I’m envious.

All polar bears are left-handed, whereas on the average, right-handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people do, especially if they’re not being chased by polar bears. In 1987, American Airlines saved $40,000 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class. And that’s why I have to beg for an extra bag of mini-pretzels in coach. On average Americans eat 18 acres of pizza every day while drinking enough soda to refill the Mediterranean Sea.

Babies are born without knee caps, which don’t appear until the child reaches two to six years of age or the power button on the TV set. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath, but you might want to if you’re a woman and Rick Santorum is the Republican nominee in November.

China has more English speakers than Bose and the United States. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. Which reminds me of the old Three Stooges line, “You go Uruguay, I’ll go my way.”

Elephants and white men are the only animals that can’t jump. Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie. Which brings to mind the time Jay Leno asked Richard Simmons the cost of a Barbara Streisand stamp they were selling at her Las Vegas concert. Simmons said, “$75.” Leno replied, “For $75, that stamp should lick me.”

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. However, humans are the only ones that have to pay for it. “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language followed by the most commonly used, “Not now, I have a headache.” If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. I’m not even going to talk about Ken.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction, which is also why you’re hungry an hour later after eating Chinese food. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes, which led to last year’s protests in Tahrir Square.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Go ahead, try it. Women blink nearly twice as much as men, but men are better at winking. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. Picasso invented the hot comb. Marilyn Monroe had six toes and the Kennedys. Charlotte team owner Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. Despite this, his Bobcats are the worst team in the NBA.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. What an asinine thought. No word in the English language rhymes with month. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because in the ’30′s cotton growers lobbied against hemp farmers as they saw it as competition. Thus the derivation of the term “cotton balls.” Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older, and none will drive after 112.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose, ears and fears never stop growing. Some lions mate over 50 times a day, thus deserving the title of king of the jungle and luckiest animal alive. Starfish and Tea Party members haven’t got brains. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, which is why they like to order off the menu.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand, followed by “What would you like to drink?” The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language. The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left. And dog spelled backwards is God. And that is why they are considered man’s best friend after the remote control.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. Why does this not surprise me? The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. That is some wild foreplay.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed, followed my Connor, Madison and Dakota. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes when it remembered it was an archipelago.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue, followed by the libido. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want, which I am all too familiar with. And finally, you share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world. Now don’t you feel special?

For today’s photo entree we are heading over to Natural Bridges State Beach on the night of February 21. The sky showed some major potential as the sun headed towards the horizon. As you can see, it turned out to be well worth the digital trip down to sea level. Unlike tornado season, which usually runs from spring through fall, it looks like the spectacular sunrises and sunsets are pretty much done for a while. Fortunately, I have my memories and more importantly, the jpegs.

On to the late night. “As of today, Rick Santorum will be assigned Secret Service agents. This is the first time Santorum has agreed to use any kind of protection.” –Conan O’Brien “Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him. Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.” –Jay Leno “The latest polls show Romney and Rick Santorum neck and neck. Not to be confused with Newt Gingrich, who is shown in the polls as chin to chin.” –David Letterman

“Rick Santorum is saying the kids that go to college are snobs. Rick Santorum has a new program for children. It’s called Every Child Left Behind. Rick Santorum thinks that global warming, climate change, is a hoax. Let me ask you something, Rick. If you think global warming and climate change is a hoax, how do you explain those sleeveless sweaters?” –David Letterman “Rick Santorum released his tax returns this week, and under withholding he wrote oral sex.” –Bill Maher

“Tomorrow is leap day. This is something that only happens once every four years. Or as Newt Gingrich calls that, a sit-up. In yesterday’s Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich actually came in fourth place. Or as the ice cream in his freezer put it, it’s gonna be a long night. “It was a tough game for the New York Knicks last night. Jeremy Lin went just 1-for-11 in their loss to Miami. Only 1 success out of 11 attempts — or as Newt Gingrich calls that, ‘primary season.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“Mitt Romney has accused Rick Santorum of saying outrageous things just so Santorum can appeal to the most extreme voters. Santorum denied this and said, ‘That’s exactly the kind of misrepresentation I’d expect from gay abortion doctor Mitt Romney.’” –Conan O’Brien “Bob Morris, a state lawmaker from Fort Wayne, Ind., has decided not to support a proposal to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts. He believes the Girl Scouts is a, quote, ‘radicalized organization that supports homosexuality and abortion.’ I’m all for freedom of speech, but that kind of talk might get you picked as Rick Santorum’s running mate.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick, I’m sorry that hearing that JFK speech on religion makes you throw up. But if it makes you feel any better, if JFK were alive today, knowing you were running for President would make him s**t his pants.” –Jon Stewart “Yeah, what a snob. Obama thinks everybody should go to college like he did. Some of us weren’t handed a ticket to Harvard by being the biracial son of a single mother on food stamps. Must be nice.” –Stephen Colbert on Rick Santorum calling Obama a snob for suggesting that kids should go to college.

So that’s our entree into March madness. And regarding the answer to yesterday’s Daily Double question on Jeopardy, “Who’s birthday is it today?” Well, the answer would be my former NBA basketball correspondent from my sportstalk radio days, Robert Hall, who was as unselfish with the microphone as he was with the rock. This is a man who has a CD of every concert ever recorded since George Washington sat in with the Doobie Brothers.

You might want to take a moment and be thankful you’re not living in tornado alley, as last Friday was a horrific one for our nation. It was a day of stunning destruction that left folks shaken and broken.

We’ll catch you putting on a spectacular show on national TV. Aloha, mahalo and later, Rajon Rondo fans.

Good morning and greetings, daybreak fans. I wanted to showcase a beautiful sunrise this week, which meant coming up with a clever title to satisfy the headline writer in me. Since I’ve exhausted the word ‘sunrise’ over the past five years, I went to the ‘dawn’ card and came up with today’s candidate. Which got me to thinking about the thought of Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin’s classic ‘Stairway to Heaven, “Does anyone remember laughter?”

Fortunately, the folks from www.humor-laughter.com and www.drstandley.com do. So turn up the laugh track as here we go. Studies have shown that there are 18 different kinds of smiles, three grins and one smirk. The most common is the smile of enjoyment, like when your team is left for dead and then goes on to win the Super Bowl or anything involving the thought of Chinese food, pizza, or NBA playoff tripleheaders.

Laughologists claim that 13 muscles are used to smile, 47 are needed for frowning, while scowling comes in at 59. I believe it was my orthodontist who told me that “A smile is a frown turned upside down.” Joan Rivers insists that you have to smile nearly a quarter of a million times to make a wrinkle, so I’m trying to pace myself.

Laughter and watching “Modern Family” lowers the levels of cortisol and epinephrine in the body. Both suppress the immune system and the air time of Sophia Veraga. Lowering these levels enhances the work of the immune system, may prevent disease and does wonders for ABC’s Neilson ratings.

Studies have shown that laughter causes endorphins to be released into the body with the same exhilarating effect as doing strenuous exercise, similar to the ‘high’ joggers get when jogging or attending a Grateful Dead concert. Laughter causes positive changes in brain chemistry when the endorphins are released back into the wild.

You can stimulate your heart, lungs and spleen, elevate your blood pressure and vertical leap and improve breathing capacity by laughing. In terms of exercise, you can get the same benefits from laughing 100 times a day as you can from 10 minutes of rowing or five minutes of being chased by a pack of wolves. 15 minutes of laughter equals the benefit of two hours sleep, and even more if you’re giggling while wearing slippers and pajamas.

Oprah claims that one good belly laugh burns off 3 1/2 calories, while laughing for 15 seconds adds two days to your life span. We’re talking about a daily dose of chuckling that can burn up to five pounds of fat over a year. So you might want to sit up and pay attention during those Republican Presidential debates.

The Chinese laugh and serve more moo goo gui pan than any other culture in the world. According to a study in Germany, back in the 50′s, people used to laugh an average of 18 minutes a day. Today, that’s down to 4-6 minutes. Boy, I wonder if that has anything to do with Facebook, Twitter, Blackberries, blueberries or the Kardashian sisters?

Higher levels of an antibody that fights infectious organisms entering the respiratory tract were found in the saliva of people who watched humorous videos, experienced good moods or didn’t read newspapers or watch the nightly news. Researchers found after watching an hour-long video of slapstick comedy without commercials that the “natural killer cells,” which seek out and destroy malignant cells, more actively attacked tumor cells in test tubes, which is great news for fans of The Three Stooges. In the words of Moe Howard, “Remind me to murder you later.”

A University of Chicago study showed that a great sense of humor can add eight years to your life, unless you get run over by a bus. I believe it was Milton Berle or Mahatma Ghandi who said, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.” And then there was Christie Brinkley’s ex, Billy Joel, who said, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners then cry with the New Orleans Saints.” Bottom line, everyone smiles in the same language.

I know I need to laugh more. Nothing feels better than a good laugh or knocking down the open jumper. Mark Twain once said that “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” Alan Alda added, “When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.” And North Carolina State basketball coach, Jim Valvano, had this to say before he passed away, “I urge all of you to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you’re emotions going.” I couldn’t have said it better.

For today’s photo extravaganza we are returning to a warm sunrise down at Lighthouse Point on the morning of February 17. It was a quick and easy photographic adventure, and I marveled at the beauty of this morning. Just like anything pertaining to chocolate, I never tire shooting the dawning experience from this location.

On to the late night. “There are 8 million dead people who are still registered to vote. As a matter of fact, they’re the group that’s most passionate about Mitt Romney.” –Conan O’Brien “The band Megadeth has endorsed Rick Santorum. I think I’m going to wait and see who Metallica likes. Kim Jong Il would have been 70 years old today if he hadn’t died a couple of months ago. But don’t worry. Osama bin Laden threw him a surprise party in hell.” –David Letterman

“President Obama’s approval rating is up to 50 percent. Only half the country dislikes him. Apparently his strategy of not being any of the Republican candidates is paying off. Here’s how he stacks up against others. Obama is at 50 percent positive. Mitt Romney is at 42 percent positive. Ice cream is ahead of both of them at 97 percent.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“A group of Democratic fundraisers is offering a dinner with the president for $35,000. Unfortunately, the only person in America who can afford it is Mitt Romney. “Yesterday Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Mitt Romney all said that if elected president they would eliminate porn. In a related story, President Obama has already been re-elected.” –Conan O’Brien

“Rick Santorum says that if he’s elected, he’s going to leave the interns alone and just screw the American people directly. This guy is really conservative. In fact, Rick Santorum is so conservative he won’t even go down on an escalator. Santorum is so conservative he won’t even let the UPS guy handle his package. Rick Santorum is so conservative that when he goes to KFC, he only orders the right wings. “This guy is so anti-gay, he won’t even eat a Hershey bar if it has nuts.” –Jay Leno

So that’s our last blast for February. Birthday wishes today go out to the Dutchess of Westchester, Amy Zimmerman, who says that despite the success of Jeremy Lin, she still has no regrets about leaving the snowbanks of Syracuse back in the early 70′s. We’ll catch you draining threes and swooping to the hoop. Aloha, mahalo and later, Kevin Durant fans.

Good morning and greetings, precipitation fans. Well, we finally got a little moisture here on the central coast, as a quick storm blew in last Monday and dropped about half inch of rain. I know that rainy days and Mondays always got Karen Carpenter down. When I asked Gregg Allman about it, he replied, “They call in stormy Monday, but Tuesday’s just as bad.” Unfortunately, I don’t agree with Gregg on this one, but then again, I’ve never been married to Cher.

By mid-February, Santa Cruz has usually received around 20 inches of rain. This year’s total is about 10 inches, which doesn’t have the ski resorts owners in Tahoe turning cartwheels. It’s been an extremely dry year and with no significant rain in the forecast, we’re stuck enjoying clear days and summer-like conditions. When I further queried Gregg Allman on the situation, he replied, “You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day. Lord knows it makes me high when you turn your love my way.” Hey, Gregg, let’s not get so personal. I was only asking about the weather.
So on that note, what do we really know about rain? And who doesn’t love it when it blows in and breaks up the sunny monotony? Well, on the moist note, here are some fun facts about our friend we know as liquid precipitation.

Rain starts off as ice, snow or Billy crystals at cloud level. Freezing rain is rain that freezes when it hits the ground; sleet is frozen ice pellets and purple rain never meant to cause you any sorrow. B.J Thomas claims that rain drops can travel down to earth at speeds of about 22 miles an hour, and 25 MPH in a school zone.

For those watching their weight, there’s light rain, which is classified at dropping no more than .10 inches an hour, while heavy rain falls at more than .30 an hour. When I asked the lovely Carly Simon about her thoughts on this subject, she claimed, “I haven’t got time for the rain.” Rain drops do not fall in the shape of a teardrop, they but fall in the shape of a flat oval. But as we know, “Too many tear drops for one heart to carry on means you’re going to cry ninety-six tears, you’re going to cry ninety-six years.”

Rain is recycled water that has evaporated from lakes, rivers, hot tubs, oceans, ponds, jacuzzis, streams, bayous and the orca tank at Sea World. Acid rain was first discovered by scientists at the Woodstock Music Festival. And believe it or not, the Statue of Liberty is turning green due to acid rain, as it is made out of copper and the acid dissolves the copper and discolors it. Which brings to mind an old Woody Allen quote, “My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”

Now let’s play rain geography. Louisiana, which has Mardi Gras coming up this week, is the wettest state in the U.S, receiving an annual rainfall of 56 inches. Mount Waialeale, smack in the middle of the Garden Isle of Kauai, Hawaii, has approximately 350 rainy days every year, which has the ferns singing like the Pointer Sisters. The world’s heaviest average rain fall (about 430 inches) occurs in Cherrapunji, India, where as much as 87 feet of rain has fallen in one year. Yet the locals go about their lives singing, “Gray skies are going to clear up, put on a happy face.”

And finally, under the category of “I did not know that,” the umbrella was originally intended not to protect mankind from falling droplets, but to shade people from the hot sun. The word umbrella comes from the Latin word umbra, meaning keep your cranium dry. But who doesn’t love it when those rain drops keep fallin’ on our heads? I believe when it comes to precipitation, my feelings are summed up by Gene Kelly, who’s laughing at the clouds because the sun’s in his heart. “I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain. What a wonderful feeling, I’m happy again.”

So when it’s raining, I like to grab my camera and head up to the Arboretum at UC Santa Cruz, which is conveniently located just minutes from my westside abode. It has acres and acres of exotic plants and flowers, serves as a research and teaching facility as well as a cool hangout for hummingbirds and their friends. We’re talking wild and rare plants from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, California and New Jersey that are difficult to find in your local yellow pages.

When I’m looking for photographic conditions for shooting plants, the wetter the better. The first three shots are from my most recent expidition while the second three are from any earlier journey to this oasis of exotic color and wonder. I love visiting there after a storm, which conjurs up the words of Woody Allen from the classic ‘Play It Again, Sam.’ “I love the rain – it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”

On to the late night. Rick Santorum is hoping his three wins in the Republican primaries on Tuesday will postiion him as the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney. And I think that’s reflected in his new campaign slogan: the other white meat.” –Seth Meyers “Rick Santorum said women might not be suited for military action because their emotions aren’t suited forcombat. Which can mean only one thing: He’s never seen an episode of ‘The View.’” –Jimmy Fallon “Have you noticed Romney doesn’t even blow dry his hair anymore? He dries naturally from Rick Santorum breathing down his neck.” –Jay Leno

“It was a bad night for Newt Gingrich. In terms that Newt can understand, I think the voters told him they want to start seeing other candidates.” –Jay Leno “Newt Gingrich is trying to save his campaign by focusing only on areas where he has the most support. So he’s mostly focusing on Georgia, Tennessee, and the Cheesecake Factory.” –Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney said today that he learned something. There are things that money can’t buy — like Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri. “Romney’s campaign is in such bad shape, today he moved the part in his hair even further to the right.” –Jay Leno “Mitt Romney is trying hard to connect with voters. He seems like he’s too affluent. Romney was talking about his father’s humble beginnings as a carpenter. He said, ‘I’ll never forget the day my dad started building our fourth beach house.’” –Conan O’Brien

Birthday wishes on Wednesday go out to George Washington, Dr. J, Julius Erving and my brother Paul. Back in the late 70′s, Paul left the warm, cozy confines of our oceanfront home on West Cliff Drive to pursue his destiny in New York. I stayed behind and watched whales, pelicans and roller skaters cruise by along the cliff and prepare for this blog. He went on to become a CNN producer and sports anchor in Atlanta and the NBA ‘s Entertainment’s Director of Video Promotions while I counted clouds and watched the sun dip into the Pacific.

Now we are both raising teenagers, still marveling at the New York Giant’s playoff run and beyond amazed at the meteoric rise of Palo Alto’s Jeremy Lin. To coin the phrase my brother brought into the league’s venacular, “NBA action is fantastic.” So is it having a brother like him. And as Bob Hope says, “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

So that’s our Rainn Wilson report. Our final word on precipitation belongs to that smooth lefthander Jimi Hendrix, who said, “Rainy day, dream away, let the sun take a holiday.” And speaking of which, I was in a celebration mode on Saturday, when at age 59 years and 49 days, I had my best day on the basketball court since my wife bore us children. Hitting the three, spinning in the lane, throwing no-look passes, I was in the zone and on fire. And yes, there were witnesses.

This day was a blessing for me and my catch and shoot game. So maybe my future isn’t so far behind me. We’ll catch you exploding to the hoop. Aloha, mahalo and later, Russell Westbrook fans.

Good morning and greetings, national park fans. I’m always amazed
when I drive along the freeways of life at how much litter I see on
the side of the road. The majority of it is usually plastic bags, bottles and George Bush ‘Mission Accomplished’ t-shirts.

It is such a visual blight and I always think, this isn’t a third-world country, this is America. How can this be happening? This is why I’ve always been in favor of capitol punishment for litterers, but perhaps that’s a tad extreme. Fifteen to life or having to read the Tea Party’s weekly newsletter might be more appropriate.

So that leads me to a story wriiten by Shaun McKinnon in the
Arizona Republic. In the very near future, when you visit the Grand
Canyon, it’s going to be BYOBA, as in bring your own bottled aqua, as
the National Park Service says it will no longer allow the sales of bottled-water. This is because millions of these discarded plastic containers are littering trails, filling trash and recycling bins while just making one plastic, fantastic mess in one of our nation’s wonderlands.

These new rules take effect in about 30 days, to coincide with the
start of March Madness. Visitors can still bring in bottled water,
Mountain Dew or Diet Snapple into this grandest of all canyons, but
no water will be available for purchase. The Park Service is hoping that hikers, tourists and surivalists will instead switch to reusable containers
they can top off for free at refilling stations at the South Rim, North Rim or the way I had hoped to live my life, above the rim.

Park officials claim that plastic bottles for account of 30 percent of the
Canyon’s recyclable trash and 20 percent of the overall trash, which I think is rubbish. The decision comes more than a year after they announced the no-sale of bottled water policy, and then backtracked after Coca-Cola, which sells the Dasani brand of water, went nuts and sought to block the ban. And we know that Dasani, which Coca Cola designed to make a difference, claims to be the most refreshing water you will ever taste. Personally, I prefer my chemical contaminants from out of the tap.

The ban is part of a new nationwide policy put in place in December,
instructing all parks to work toward halting bottled-water sales and
large foam fingers. The policy is aimed more at hikers than casual
visitors, who can still purchase Gatorade, Dr. Pepper and a variety of
tropical smoothies at the Canyon gift shops.

Park officials say that discarded bottles have become a serious problem along the trails on the rim and in the Canyon’s soft, chewy interior. The Park’s chief concessions operator says that because of the ban they will lose money, but right now “that’s water under the bridge,” and they will attempt to make up some of the difference with sales of Herman Cain campaign memorabilia.

I think it’s a great idea. And if I never saw another customer leaving
Costco with a flat of 100 bottles in tow, I think I could still sleep at night. The environment and the American Council for Pick up Your Damn Garbage thanks you.

On the photo front, the skies lit up last Thursday night with a sunset
for the ages. It was spectacular on two different fronts, with giant peach-colored clouds to the east with orange waves of grain to the west. Unfortunately, I viewed it through the windshield my car as I hurtled back through time and space on my way home from Hollister.

So although I did see it, I didn’t quite capture the moment. But
thank goodness one of today’s youth intervened and put the moment in perspective. My son Jason said, “Dad, the important thing is that we saw it,” I replied “Son, you’re absolutely right,” and then I made him ride home in the trunk the rest of the way.

So instead I’m showcasing a sunset shot from Stockton Avenue back on the evening of January 29. It pales in comparison to the stars and stripes extravaganza of last week, but it will work for this week’s post. It seems the fabulous sunrises and sunsets, much like my mother’s favorite show ‘Parenthood,” is closing down for the season and will soon be history.

I believe it was either Groucho or Karl Marx who said, “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.” John F. Kennedy said that “History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.” But I like to quote another former president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, who once said, “Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future or the New York Giant’s defense to run over him.”

On to the late night. “Donald Trump announced he is building a new
hotel four blocks from the White House. And with any luck, that will
be about as close to the White House as Donald Trump will ever get.” –Jay Leno “It was a busy day for Trump, because just this morning, his hair popped out of the ground and predicted six more weeks of winter.” –Jimmy Fallon “Newt and Hillary are very similar. Both spent the ‘90s trying to figure out who Bill was sleeping with. And they have the
same tailor.” –Craig Ferguson

“One of the most talked about commercials was the one with Clint
Eastwood, where he said, ‘It’s halftime in America, and our second
half is about to begin.’ The bad news? China has the ball and we’re
down $15 trillion. Congratulations once again to the world champion
New York Giants.They played a great game. Eli Manning now has two
rings. Two! But that’s still one less ring than Newt Gingrich.” –Jay Leno

“Former presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is on the show tonight. If
you know anything about this guy, he dropped out. But he’s a former
governor, Ambassador to China, honest, kind, ethical, a good husband,
and a good father. He never stood a chance.” –Jay Leno “Rick Santorum was the big winner. He is feeling very cocky. He already is being fitted for an inaugural sweater vest.” –David Letterman “A mother in China gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Chinese officials say it’s so
big, it can do the work of two babies.” –Conan O’Brien

It was a wild week on the central coast, as a huge swell hit
last Wednesday, bringing enormous waves that smashed against the
cliffs in spectacular displays of spray and wash. When the ocean
displays this kind of energy, power and fury, it is a sight never to be missed. All part of the Magic Johnson at the edge of the continent.

And speaking of energy, I hope you caught some New York Knick’s action this week, because there was some something special happening in Madison Square Garden. Harvard was in the house. We’ll catch you hitting threes, twisting layups and 360 drives in the lane. Aloha, mahalo and later, Jeremy Lin fans.

Good morning and greetings, February fans. We are now in the midst the shortest month of the year, although for many, Sunday might have seemed like the longest day. Forget about the game and the final score, as for many, it was all about Madonna, her dancers and what was served up on the super menus. So on that foot-long note, let’s take a postgame look at what might have been ingested on the food front during Super Bowl Sunday.

For the NFL faithful, party lovers and die-hard Pilgrims, Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day of food consumption behind Thanksgiving, although for me, it’s usually a fast day. What this means is that during the game the average Super Bowl watcher consumes 1,200 calories in conjunction with every first down and cheerleader cutaway shot.

The Institute of Avocado Awareness estimates that fans and Dorito lovers inhaled somewhere around 69 million pounds of avocados during the game, mostly in the form of guacamole, a dip that was first made by the Aztecs during the 1500′s to appease the Gods and drug cartels. They also believed the avocado to be an aphrodisaic, which led to the invention of the super burrito.

The most popular take-out and delivery items yesterday were pizza, chicken wings, sandwiches and any unhealthy edible item that a football fan can consume involving no preparation. Domino’s expected to sell 11 million slices of pizza and a boatload of chocolate lava crunch cake. Throw in some chicken parm and a liter of cherry Coke and I think we’ve covered all the essential food groups.

Americans ate approximately 100 million pounds of chicken and one cornish game hen, which breaks down to 1.25 billion portions or 450 million individual wings per hour. If I were a chicken, I’d make myself scarce during Super Bowl week. And if I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land.

Moving down the menu, an astonishing 14,500 tons of chips and 4,000 tons of popcorn, pretzels, nuts and bolts were eaten during the singing of the National Anthem. Salsa flowed like the River Jordan. It was the biggest winter grilling day of the year, as my wife kept on grilling me as to when the damn game would be over.

And according to the late Timothy Leary and 7-Eleven stores, there is a 20% increase in the sale of antacids on the day after the Super Bowl. We all know that Rolaids spell relief and that if you’re one of the 25 million Americans that suffer from heartburn on a daily basis, nothing works faster than TUMS. Or as I tweeted my cardiologist during halftime, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.”

I’m not even going to mention how much beer, light beer and heavy alcohol was consumed yesterday but let me put it into perspective. If we thought of this amount of consumed liquid in terms of average rainfall, we wouldn’t be talking about a severe drought in the southern United States.

That being said, Super Sunday lived up to its billing, from the 20 hour pre-game show to the endless beer commercials showing how much fun life can really be. And as we all know, at the end of the day of food and football, it doesn’t really matter who won, but who covered the point spread. And that would be the Super Bowl champion New York Giants.

So on the photo front, let’s kickoff off February with a blast by going into the archives and pulling out my favorite sunset from this month. The year was 2006, as I shot this beauty from Stockton Avenue along West Cliff Drive. You could sense from the texture of the clouds that this night, like Mario Manningham’s catch, was going to be something special, and it did not disappoint.

The sky went from distinguished gray to outrageous orange to finally blood red, and these colors reflecting in the Pacific made for an outstanding night. Since I shot it on a Sunday, I named the final shot “Super Sunday,” which gives us all food for thought. And that leads me to the words of the great Oprah Winfrey, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down on your way to the Giant’s ticker tape parade.”

On to a little late night. “Now, Senator John McCain has gotten into the act; McCain says that the Republican debates have turned into mud wrestling. To which Herman Cain said, “I knew I got out too soon!” –Jay Leno “Newt Gingrich picked up an endorsement from Herman Cain. It’s not unlike getting Carrot Top’s endorsement for an Academy Award.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama told the nation ‘The state of our union is strong,’ while Newt Gingrich told his wife, ‘The state of our union is open.’” –Conan O’Brien “His State of the Union speech was written so 8th graders could understand it. Which explains the part where Obama said, ‘I wasted bin Laden, LMAO!’” –Conan O’Brien

“The government may be legally required to release the video of Osama bin Laden’s killing. President Obama said this would be unhelpful, inflammatory, and ‘Could you please release it two days before the election?’” –Conan O’Brien “In Florida, Mitt Romney won the Republican presidential primary election. He beat Newt Gingrich handily. Political analysts believe that elderly voters in Florida rejected Newt Gingrich because of fears that he would eventually leave them for a younger state.” –Jimmy Kimmel “It’s the first day of Black History Month. So if you’re watching me right now, it means you have completely missed the point.” –Conan O’Brien

Birthday wishes go out to the woman who gave me life and years of bottle feeding, my mother, Lee Gilbert, who celebrates her big day on Wednesday. At 86 years young, she is still going strong, as she has figured out how to turn on her computer and forward an email. Next up, how to print a document and turn the computer off.

And on the same day, my niece, the lovely Samantha Gilbert, turns sweet sixteen. Not only is she the Maria Sharapova of Marin County but also an expert on Japanese culture.

Then on Thursday, birthday greetings go out to my old grammar school classmate, Denise Cinquino, the woman who not once, but twice, turned down my invitation to go to the Woodstock Music Festival. The good news is that Denise, who hasn’t aged a day since our senior prom, has assured me that if I invite her again to three days of peace, music and mud, she’s in.

So that’s our Super Bowl report. It’s been a tremendous year for New York Giant’s fans, as this playoff run was one for the ages. We’ll catch you at the parade. Aloha, mahalo and later, Eli Manning fans.

Good morning and greetings, Super Bowl fans. That’s right, we’ve started the countdown to Super Sunday, the same day twenty-four years ago that I bought my wife a surprise engagement ring after she picked it out. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.

Next Sunday is also a day when the earth stops orbiting on its normal axis, as Americans will consume 200 hundred trillion chips, 400 billion slices of pizza and enough guacamole to fill Lake Erie. Throw in enough beer and alcohol to double the size of the Red Sea, more money being gambled then what we owe the Chinese and we’re talking that special day where we honor the national pastime of violence, NFL football.

So this leads to the questions that everyone will be asking next Sunday. Can Gisele Bundchen’s main squeeze, Tom Brady, obtain redemption for the Patriot’s 2008 shocking defeat in Super Bowl XLII that crushed their hopes for an undefeated dream season? Can the league’s hottest quarterback, Eli Manning and the Giant’s Big Blue defense continue to sizzle in the postseason and take home another championship trophy? And most importantly, the question fans all over the country will be asking themselves the next day around the water cooler, what was your favorite commercial?

Well, speaking of the Big Blue, I came across an article last seek written by Natalie Wolchover for Yahoo Live Science that tickled my New York Giant’s fancy. Have you ever wondered why the moon is out sometimes during the day? Why is the sky blue? Will we ever discover aliens? How much does the Earth weigh? How do airplanes stay up? And what’s the point spread on the Giants-Patriots game?

According to a new survey conducted over fish n’ chips in England, these are the five questions kids most often ask their parents. In my case, it was, “Why do I have to study algebra?,” followed by “How do the storks know where to deliver the babies?” and “Can I have a raise in my allowance?”

Of the 2,000 parents of children ages 5 to 16 who were surveyed about their kid’s questions, two-thirds said they struggled with the questions and depression. One-fifth of the parents admitted that if they didn’t know an answer, they sometimes made up an explanation, pretended that no one knows or went into a trance. And one-third of the parents said they thought the moon was made of cream cheese.

Myself, I never wondered about the moon making an appearance during the day and I believe there are aliens out there and in Hollywood. I’ve never pondered how much the earth or Oprah weighed and forget about how airplanes stay up, I’m amazed that my pants stay up without a belt.

But being a photographer and a citizen of the world, the question that really caught my interest was, why is the sky blue? Or in the words of former Chapel Hill resident Dr. Michael Schur, “If God isn’t a Tar Heel, why is the sky Carolina blue?”

So here we go. The light coming from the sun is made of many colors; light travels as a wave, and each color has a unique wavelength. Violet and blue light has shorter wavelengths, while red light has a longer wavelength, particularly in Amsterdam, and the other colors have wavelengths in between. And the cheese stands alone.

When the different colors of light pass through the atmosphere, they run into molecules, water droplets, bits of dust and friends from the old neighborhood. Because all these particles are closer in size to shorter wavelengths of light, they tend to scatter violet and blue light much more than red. They send rays of violet and blue light richocheting toward the ground and your eyes like an Eli Manning third down sideline pass to Hakeem Nicks. More violet light actually gets scattered by atmospheric particles than blue light, but your eyes are more sensitive to blue, so in accordance to K-mart shoppers, the sky appears like one big blue light special.

Sunrises and sunsets are orange-red because with the sun low on the horizon, sunlight must pass through more atmosphere to get to your eyes, and only the red light can make it all the way through. The shorter wavelengths have all been scattered toward the ground and the sky is defenseless in holding back the incredible colors that these moments bring. Or in the words of the Classic IV “Traces of love, long ago, that didn’t turn out right.”

And that leads us into today’s photo funhouse. We harken back to the morning of January 19, when at first glance the early morning sky showed more promise than the Fox Network’s much ballyhooed new series “Alcatraz.” Although I was still without my regular lens, I had my new zoom in hand, which I used to capture this morning of spectacular color and pageantry.

And I am happy to report that after a three week hiatus, Sunrise Santa Cruz is back in the digital ballgame. Now all I need is some clouds and a miracle. Actually, all I need is you, my cyber audience. At least that’s what Mike & the Mechanics told me.

On to the late night. “Rick Perry dropped out. He said while it’s sad he won’t be president, he can always run again next year. Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife went on nightline and said that he wanted to have an open marriage. This is the second wife, talking about him when he was fooling around with what became the third wife. Newt wanted apparently to have his wife and his marriage and also women on the side giving him oral sex. This way he could be nice and relaxed when he went to work and accused blacks of feeling entitled. “Meanwhile, at the debate, Mitt Romney’s got a look on his face like, ‘Three women at once? Who’s the Mormon in this race?’” –Bill Maher

“Scientists announced that they have detected a brand new subatomic particle. This particle is so tiny, it’s actually smaller than the income tax rate paid by Mitt Romney. “Mitt Romney won’t release his taxes, but on the other hand, turns out Newt Gingrich wrote off two of his marriages as a total loss.” – Jay Leno “Mitt Romney is going to release 2010 and 2011 tax returns. Not to be outdone, Newt Gingrich is going to release his 1988, 1994, and 2005 wedding vows.” –Conan O’Brien

“Newt Gingrich was cheating on his second wife while he was prosecuting Bill Clinton for the Monica Lewinsky thing. In other words, Newt puts the ‘hippo’ in ‘Hypocrite.’ “Gingrich is lining up impressive endorsements. Todd Palin, Gary Busey, and now, Chuck Norris. I’ll tell you, his endorsements could beat up Mitt Romney’s endorsements.” –Jimmy Kimmel “You’re not a Washington insider? You, the former Speaker of the House and Freddie Mac consulting millionaire, are the Washington insider. When Washington gets its prostate checked, it tickles you!” –Jon Stewart, on Newt Gingrich campaigning as a Washington outsider

“Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One. President Obama aired his first campaign ad of 2012, which promotes his record on clean energy. Obama’s a big environmentalist. In fact, for the election he plans to recycle the same promises he made four years ago. “Next week Obama will visit Iowa, Arizona, Las Vegas, Denver, and Detroit. Not because he’s campaigning, just because all he could afford was a Southwest flight with a bunch of layovers.” –Jimmy Fallon

“A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama’s economic adviser.” –Jay Leno “People who saw Steven Tyler sing the National Anthem at the Patriots game yesterday said, ‘Nancy Regan really looks good for her age.” But Steven Tyler got some of the lyrics wrong, so now everyone thinks the song goes, ‘Flag looks like a lady.’” –Conan O’Brien

So that’s our last blast for January. Birthday wishes go out next Sunday to my longtime confidante and the First Lady of the state of Western Kentucky, Nancy Mager, who predicted years before the internet was invented that I would someday be blogging for no compensation. As they say, keep your friends close and your good friends closer.

So enjoy Super Bowl week and we’ll catch you at the trophy presentation. Aloha, mahalo and later, Victor Cruz fans.

Good morning and greetings, Super PAC fans. Well, you’ve got to hand
it to Diana Ross and the Supremes Court. Their 2010 ruling allowing
these out of control groups to raise unlimited amounts of money from
individuals and corporations and then spend it attacking the campaigns
of political candidates has wreaked havoc in the presidential
landscape.

But then again, who doesn’t like watching a civil war break out in the Republican Party. I believe it was either a Confederate soldier or Newt Gingrich’s second wife who once said, “We’ll fight them, sir, ’til hell freezes over, and then, sir, we will fight them on the ice.”

These Super PACs now have a venue where they can launch totally inaccurate, outrageous missile scuds against opposing candidates. I haven’t seen a series of such vicious attacks since a group of killer orcas went after a gray whale last spring in Monterey Bay. The poor whale was as defenseless as Mitt Romney trying to defend his flip flopping on the issues. And that leads us into today’s post, with an assist from the reporting of Jason Hoppin and Stephen Baxter of the Santa Cruz Sentinel.

Last Monday, a 700 pound,13-foot baby gray whale was found beached
just north of Moss Landing. It was obviously in distress, and despite
the best efforts by marine experts who were called to the scene, it
had to be euthanized by a veterinarian. The undersized and prematurely born whale was just one day old and had been seperated from its mother and somehow made it to shore. Much like it would have been in my case, without her, it never had a chance. The pictures of this youngster dying on the sand were just tragic.

Reports out of Monterey say that the gray whale migration was at its
peak last week, with whale watching boats seeing 20 to 30 go by each
hour. What a phenomenal sight to observe as these gigantic creatures make their 12,000 mile migration from Alaska to Baja, California. Usually, the mothers wait till they get to the warmer water to give birth, but this group of California gray whales was traveling with youngsters and their nannies. Personally, I would prefer to give birth in a warm, sheltered lagoon, but that’s just me.

In the fall, the humpback whales off the central coast made international headlines with their breaching so close to shore, and now the grays are putting on a show for the locals. The Calfornia grays, who grow to 40 to 50 feet in length, have been spotted mating near Lovers Point in Pacific Grove, which has local parent groups up in arms.

All this Moby Dick talk reminded me of an incredible morning back in
April of 2009, when a year-old gray whale washed up on the shore just
north of the arch at Its Beach. Except for a modeling shoot that I
witnessed back in the 80′s, this was the most interesting morning in my 26 years plus of pounding the West Cliff beat.

As you can from the first photo, I was not alone in taking in this epic
sight, as the local TV stations went live with their coverage. This
25-foot-long, 8,260 pound juvenile had been found dead next to the wharf and had been towed out to sea for burial. But for some reason, it floated back toward land to create this unique photo op.

Since the whale refused to be buried at sea, they decided to haul it up
the cliff, which created this surreal scene of a gigantic sea creature
being pulled up through the iceplants and then loaded onto a flatbed
truck. It was saddening to see this beautiful specimen of the sea being taken away for a final burial at the city landfill, but it did make for a whale of a story. To read my original post, click on April 2009 in the archives to the right and scroll down to “Whale, I Guess This Is Goodbye.”

These moments just serve as a reminder of what an exotic place
Monterey Bay is. There’s a reason they call it the Grand Canyon of the
Pacific. As a landscape and nature photographer, I shoot images of what is on top of the water. But there is a whole other world, that for people like me, who are wetsuit challenged, do not get to observe
except by going the the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which just raised their
entrance fee to $32.95 for box seats.

So even though I’m not seeing what’s below the bay, I’m taking in the
most from what’s above. There’s a reason I choose to live along the
edge of the continent. I believe it can be summed up a few simple
words inscribed on a bench above Its Beach. “I live by the sea. Enough said.” Good night and drive home safely.

On to the late night. During a campaign event on Saturday, Mitt Romney reached into his pocket and gave cash to a woman who said she was broke. Which got awkward, when she was like, ‘I’m also lonely! Experts say Mitt Romney needs Latino support in elections. Romney says, I’ll never pander to any group or mi nombre no es Mitt Romney.” –Jimmy Fallon According to the exit polls, Mitt Romney won in every category of voter in New Hampshire, from rich to poor, from young to old, from white to really white. He won across the board.” –Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his
Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once
cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita.” –Jay Leno
“Jon Huntsman has dropped out of the race for president to return to
his former job as the guy in the picture that comes with the frame.”
–Jimmy Kimmel “Sen. John McCain told Sean Hannity that choosing Sarah Palin was still the best decision he ever made. Well, today the
Arizona DMV took away his driver’s license.” –Jay Leno

“The South Carolina GOP primary campaign is in full swing. Candidates
are shaking hands, kissing babies and strategically ignoring Confederate flags.” –Stephen Colbert “Researchers found a frog in new guinea that is so tiny, they believe it’s the smallest vertebrate on the planet. It has the tiniest backbone of any living creature, except members of Congress.” –Jay Leno “Kim Jung Nam, the brother of North Korean leader Kim Jung Un, said that as a leader his younger brother will fail. When he heard this, Kim Jung Un was so upset at his older brother, he yelled, ‘I’m telling Kim Jung Mom.’” –Conan O’Brien

So our summer weather ended last week as the winter rains finally made an appearance on the central coast. While snowstorms battered the northeast and northwest, Florida and Hawaii boast sunny skies and 80 degree temperatures. I love the meterological diversity of this country. And any form of chocolate.

So today marks the start of the two week Chinese New Year celebration. It’s the Year of the the Dragon, a symbol which stands for power, good luck, success, and happiness, which I was definitely feeling after yesterday’s NFC Championship game. We’ll catch you heading to Indianapolis. Aloha, mahalo and later, New York Giant fans.

Good morning and greetings, warm weather fans. Well, who doesn’t love summer weather in January? According to Diana Ross, so far this month we’ve had no wind, no rain nor winter’s cold. And you readers know I need to follow the sun wherever it leads, because ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough and ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from writing my weekly declaration of codependence.

So how dry has it been here on the central coast? Well, as they say in Rick Perry country, it’s been so dry the trees are bribing the dogs. Not a drop of rain has fallen in the month of January, although rumor has it that both some moisture and the NFC championship game between the Giants and 49ers are headed our way this week.

Well, thanks to some research by Jennifer Pasko of the Sentinel, here’s some facts about our lack of precipitation on the central coast.

Folks weren’t exactly dodging the rain drops last month either, as according to the National Weather Service and the banana palms in my back yard, it was Santa Cruz’s second driest December on record. These recordings date back to 1893, right around the birth of John McCain, the man who had the vision and foreskin, er foresight to bring the world Sarah Palin.

A total of 0.13 inches of rain fell from the sky in December, as compared to almost 10 inches that dropped in 2010. Up the coast in the Bay Area, they have been keeping rainfall records that go back to the Gold Rush, which is coincidentally the last time the Oakland A’s made a good trade. For 49er fans in San Francisco, who are still rejoicing today, it was the third driest December since 1849, when chow fun was first spotted in the city’s finer Chinese dining establishments.

Until then it was just lo mein and chow mein, but then the floodgates opened and all kinds of appetizers like crab rangoon and shrimp rolls broke loose. In the two drier Decembers, not a drop of rain fell, which would indicate the fog was also out to lunch, which comes with egg drop soup, steamed rice, crispy egg roll and a fortune cookie.

Moving along, in the midwest and Great Plains, the first week of 2012 brought temperatures nearly 40 degrees higher than average. Thermometers were busier than my two TiVo recording systems as 473 high temperature records were set on January 6. As Brad Johnson at Think Progress Green put it, “Fueled by billions of tons of greenhouse pollution, a surge of record warmth flooded the United States, shattering records and CDs from southern California to North Dakota.” Meanwhile, it was 10 degrees in New York that same week, but Derek Jeter was in Paris with Minka Kelly so there was no need to worry.

Every major city in North and South Dakota set records for the date, of which many were shattered by sixteen degrees of Kevin Bacon or more. To put it in perspective, on this balmy January day, it was four degrees warmer in Rapid City, South Dakota than it was in Miami, Florida. Holy Dwyane Wade, Batman.

Now I admit I’ve never been to this midwest tropical paradise known as the Dakotas in January, but I know what it’s like sitting in a meat locker watching the golf channel. The ground is normally more frozen than Joan River’s smile. Believe me, there’s a reason they call it the Badlands.

This same record heat produced the first 60° temperatures ever recorded in Minnesota during the first week of January. We’re talking about an area colder than Mrs. Herman Cain after hubby arrived home from his failed presidential wanderings. Things got so bad in Viking country that they had to cancel a midnight snowshoe hike because there was no snow. I hate when that happens.

But according to Brad Johnson, there is a downside to this heat wave that has me crying and tearing me apart. Although schoolchildren are dancing in the streets, this breakdown of normal seasons threatens serious economic disruption. The total lack of snowcover in the Dakotas means that wildland fires are much more likely and the seasonally cold air following this surge of heat will severely damage the winter crops that are usually protected by at least 3 inches of snow at this time of year.

And then there is the cancellation of one of my favorite fall shows, “Prime Suspect” on NBC. Sure, the program’s name was misleading, but I love the cast, starring Maria Bello as Detective Jane Timini. Actually, this has nothing to do with the heat wave, I just wanted to rant a little bit.

For today’s photo sweepstakes, we are journeying back to the last images recorded before my camera lens decided to take a sabbatical, which would be the morning of December 29th. And it was a sunrise that I won’t soon forget, as it was low tide and I wanted to capture as much of the brilliant reflection from the clouds as possible, because that’s the way I egg roll.

In my effort to get total reflection, I edged out into the water, and before you could say, “Remember the Titanic,” a wave hit me. As I backstroked towards dry land, my zoom lens dove out of my pocket and went for a swim. “No, no, no.” But it was yes, yes, yes, as it turns out, lenses and salt water really don’t mix. Thus, another memorable chapter in the annals of Sunrise Santa Cruz was in the books. Or should I say the Pacific?

On to some fresh late night. “Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He won the New Hampshire primary last night. See, this is proof that even the multimillionaire son of a multimillionaire can beat the odds and run for president of the United States.” –Jay Leno “Seventy-six percent of people polled thought that Mitt was short for mittens. I’d vote for him if his name was Mittens Romney. Other nations would fear us for being so adorable.” –Craig Ferguson “I’m having trouble warming up to Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy in the restaurant that comes to your table to make sure everything’s all right.” –David Letterman

“Fidel Castro posted a blog entry this week titled ‘The Best President.’ Castro thinks a robot would do a better job than President Obama. And if Mitt Romney wins, that could happen.” –Jimmy Kimmel “With all due respect, Castro, we tried the robot thing here in California. And it didn’t work out. I came up with a great slogan for Romney. “It’s time to Mitt or get off the pot.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“During the debates I drank a shot every time I heard the word ‘contraception.’ I was more wasted than a contribution to Jon Huntsman.” –Stephen Colbert “Jon Huntsman is surging in New Hampshire. And it lasts longer than four hours, he’d better call a doctor.” –David Letterman “During the GOP debate on Saturday night, Jon Huntsman spoke Chinese. Not to be outdone during the debate, Newt Gingrich ate Chinese.” –Conan O’Brien

“You know the difference between Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Tim Tebow? When God tells Tim Tebow to run, he wins. “Even though Rick Perry came in fifth, he is not quitting. He said it’s on to South Carolina. And then today, he said, ‘Which way is that?’” –Jay Leno “Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is under fire for a remark he made in Iowa about black people. The remark has sparked outrage among Iowa’s black community, otherwise known as Steve.” –Conan O’Brien

David Letterman’s “Top Five Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday”
5. Enjoyed ice cream made by Kim Jong Ben and Kim Jong Jerry
4. After seeing how good Charles Barkley looks, joined Weight Watchers
3. Nice quiet dinner with a few close human shields
2. Treated himself to a deep-tissue jowl massage
1. Executed his pastry chef for using those trick birthday candles

So another weekend of NFL playoffs is now history. I hope you caught the Saints-49ers game on Saturday, as the end of that contest was as fantabulous as it gets. And on Sunday, it was a New York Giants shocker as they upset Aaron Rodgers and the Super Bowl champion Packers in a game that if I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t have believed it. Unlike courtroom proceedings, the Giant’s defense never rested.

So enjoy Dr. King’s birthday and perhaps take a moment to reflect on the greatness, vision and courage of this man. We’ll catch you coming up huge in the biggest game of your life. Aloha, mahalo and later, Alex Smith fans.

Good morning and greetings, NFL playoff fans. For the lovers of pro football, January is prime-time, as this past weekend featured chop blocks, gang tackling and vicious helmet-to-helmet hits, and that was just fans tailgating in the parking lot. And let’s not forget enough scantily-clad cheerleaders and beer commercials to make my head explode. When you throw in college football’s Rose Bowl, the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl and my personal favorite, the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl that came with sour cream and chives, it was quite a week on the pigskin front.

There was also some interesting moments in the skies above Monterey Bay. As I mentioned in my last post, my Canon Rebel EOS suffered a stroke and died on the morning of New Year’s Eve, leaving me digitally challenged. And for some unexplained reason, I don’t have a backup camera to get me through prime times like this, which leaves me and Dusty Springfield wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that the skies don’t light up on a spectacular level when I’m lensless. Well, it may not have been Murphy’s Law taking effect, but last Wednesday night was one for the ages on many levels.

Now in my own weakside defense, and I really have none, I had brought along my daughter’s camera just in case the sky blew up on this night. All afternoon it looked as if the sunset had more potential than the 2011 New York Jets, and I knew there would be a window between my son and daughter’s basketball games to take in the sights and sounds. So when I exited the gym at 4:30 and checked out the sky, I could see the motherlode was coming, so I took off for Stockton Avenue to take in this midweek wonder.

The sky was already blowing up with unusual colors and texture as I hit West Cliff Drive. I took out my daughter’s Kodak Easy Share camera and prepared to shoot away. The only problem was, NOW HER CAMERA WASN’T WORKING. I thought to myself, relax, take a deep breath and try to enjoy this upcoming incredible experience that you won’t be capturing. Enjoy the moment. Of course, if you know me, you know this really wasn’t totally possible.

Now people always say to me, “Geoff, can’t you just enjoy watching the sunset?” Well, I could if I wasn’t a photographer and didn’t have a photo blog where each week I attempt to showcase the best from the skies and byways of the central coast. And just my luck, my Etch A Sketch was in the shop so I was out there alone, just me and a sky that would turn into clouds of purple mountain majesties. This was way above the fruited plain on a night oh so beautiful with spacious skies and amber waves of greatness.

So I sucked it up and accepted my photographic fate like a real man by sobbing uncontrollably for about ten minutes. In reality, I know looking at the bigger picture, there are worse fates, like if my TiVO went down. It was just disappointing to know what was coming and that my cyber audience was not going to be part of the festivities. Okay, so I’m a giver. Just don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

My daughter’s game was now underway so I returned to the gym at Natural Bridges. I stood by the door and went to check the sunset every couple of minutes, as the skies were now a 360 degree canvas of unbelievable colors and designs.

To the east, the sky was as passionately pink as I’ ve ever seen it at sunset, while to the west there were riveting ribbons of orange and later red. My neighbor said it was like looking into a fire, a burning caldron of January color and pagentry. The reflection upon the ocean and sand was off the charts, although I didn’t have the emotional strength to go and look. Plus, my daughter was seeing some first-half minutes, and I didn’t want to miss any crossover action.

So the bottom line was, this was the most fantastic sunset that I’d ever seen but not photographed. So when I walked through the door at home after watching my son and daughter combine for two wins and 24 points, I wondered, what’s for dinner and what can I do to make up for this missed opportunity of greatness? At times like this, there’s only one place I can go. No, not to Disneyland, but to my photo archives.

We’re heading back to the evening of January 22, 2008, which was an epic night on the central coast. It was a most extreme low tide day (photo #3) as I was able to walk completely around the arch at Its Beach, something I’ve only done twice in my short but defense-oriented life.

I was shooting the exposed barnacles and sea stars when someone said, “Do you see the rainbow through the arch? (photo #4.) Then a snowy egret flew through and I shot it landing in the exposed kelp beds in front of the arch. I could just sense that this evening, much like my first chocolate milk shake, was going to be very special.

As you can see, the sky just went off from here, ending with a very colorful canvas (photo #6) that had friends and anemones buzzing. But here’s the kicker, and I don’t mean the guy that missed the three field goals for Stanford in the Fiesta Bowl.

The next night, I photographed my all-time favorite, Santa Cruz sunset up at Natural Bridges. We’re talking back-to-back, world-class nights in the skies above the central coast. To check it out, go the archives on the right, click on January 2011 and “Does This Sunset Make Me Look Fat?” will pop up like A-Rod with the bases loaded in a playoff game.

So the good news is that I’ve ordered a new camera and I should be back in business before Rick Perry exits the presidential race. I hope some of you caught the spectacle in the January 4th sky. In the words of my old pal Marc Techner, a West Cliff regular at sunset time, “It was magical. The colors, from the different shades of pink and purple and fuchsia just lit up the whole sky. It was totally incredible, one of the best ever.” Thank you and stay thirsty, my friends.

On to a little late night. “As I was coming out here, CBS News predicted the winner of the Iowa Republican caucuses: President Obama. So now that Michele O’Bachmann is out, that leaves Mitt Romney with best hairdo.” –David Letterman “Rick Santorum’s campaign is celebrating the Iowa caucuses with a pizza party. Here’s the embarrassing part: It was delivered by Herman Cain.” –Jay Leno

So that’s a wrap. Enjoy the warm winter weather, the ongoing NFL playoffs and we’ll catch you in the end zone. Aloha, mahalo and later, Drew Brees, Eli Manning and Tim Tebow fans.