Good morning and greetings, Memorial Day fans. In honor of this national holiday, I want to confess to a little secret. No, it’s not that I shook Richard Nixon’s hand back in 1969, or that I once cheated on a prostate exam or that I am of zero help to my children with their math homework. It’s the fact that I fantasize about Hawaii on a daily basis.

As much as I love being Sunrise Santa Cruz boy and blogging from this cold water paradise, I would love to be residing in the islands. But because of my family and certain restrictions regarding the Witness Protection Program, I’m living the central coast experience. But whenever Hawaii is in the news, my mind flashes back to my hula dancing days. Your life is never the same after performing on a breezy day in a loin cloth.

Today’s story comes to us from writer Michael Cooper and the New York Times. Sitting neatly stacked in an industrial park in Kapolei are more than 20,000 tons of shrink-wrapped garbage waiting to be exported to the mainland. The bales have been neatly stacked and trimmed like Tom Selleck’s mustache, and are ready to ship the 2,300 miles across the Pacific.

But much like the growth spurt that was supposed to put me over 6 feet, this “opala’s”,(the Hawaiian name for garbage) passage has been delayed again and again since it first began piling up in the tropical heat last September. Now, when the trade winds blow, it offers a sweet and pungent reminder of how Oahu’s latest plan to dispose of some of its trash has gone awry.

For this 44-mile-long volcanic island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the options for getting rid of garbage and overripe pineapple are limited. That is how officials and producers from “Hawaii Five-O” hit upon the idea of shipping some of their garbage to the mainland. But what was supposed to be a quick fix has turned into a long-running problem after the company that was hired to ship the trash failed to get necessary permits from the federal government and the Jack Lord fan club. In the words of Detective Steve McGarrett, “Book em’, Dano.”

Some environmental groups, including the Citizens for Better Teriyaki, were leery of the idea from the start. “It’s not exactly the type of aloha we want to be giving,” says Robert D. Harris, the director of the Hawaii chapter of the Sierra Club. “We’d prefer sending boxes of Kona Coffee glazed macadamia nuts. You know, for a taste of the tropics.”

So here’s the deal. A private company, Hawaiian Waste Systems, said it could ship trash to a landfill in Washington by Kayak and canoe for $99.89 a ton — roughly half of what the other bidders said it would cost. The company was granted the contract, even though it lacked a crucial approval from the United States Department of Agriculture, which must ensure that no pests, jugglers, insects, boogie boarders or plant diseases are exported with the garbage.

Thinking the approval was imminent, the company began collecting garbage and stamps in September and shrink-wrapping it in plastic. For a time they stored the garbage at the docks and with some nurses, drawing complaints about gnats from neighboring businesses and young spellers. This month the State Department of Health fined the company $40,400 for storing the waste for too long and overcooking the kalua pig at their company’s luau.

Hawaiian officials, in an attempt to educate residents, offer the “Tour de Trash,” a popular educational tour to show Hawaiians where their garbage goes. But the tour proved to be unpopular with tourists, who preferred to visit the Sunset Beach, Pearl Harbor and the Mauna Loa Macadamia Nut Factory on the Big Island.

The island and natives with a strong sense of smell will hopefully get a solution to its garbage-bale problem soon. But officials say they will always need to use a landfill to dispose of at least some of Oahu’s waste. “What do we do with expired meats, canned goods, milk and chocolate hula pies? What about when a whale or a loan shark turns up on the beach?” asks Tim Steinberger, the director of the Honolulu Department of Environmental Services. “There are just certain things that you can’t turn into energy or recycle, that you can’t ship off island.”

I am in agreement, although I believe it was Gandhi or Steve Martin who once said that one man’s garbage is another man’s gold. This sanitation problem is everywhere, as New York City now ships some of its garbage by rail as far away as Virginia, South Carolina and the old Yankee Stadium. It’s in the NBA, when a game has already been decided and starters are on the bench, we’re talking garbage time. But in this situation regarding garbage in paradise, the final word will come from Horace Greely, who in his reverse doctrine of manifest destiny said, “go east, young rubbish, go east.”

Let’s move to our Memorial Day photo montage. May has been a rather moist month, so one afternoon after the drops stopped falling, I headed up to the Aboretum at UCSC. This wonderland of color features plant life from exotic locations from all over the world, including Australia, New Zealand and New Jersey. The space age looking flowers in photos # 3-5 are proteas, also known as sugarbushes, which are as wild-looking as pictures of myself from my long-haired days of the 70′s.

The variety, shape and colors of the proteas are amazing. As you walk the grounds, you see rabbits scurrying into the brush, hummingbirds flapping their wings and lion cubs grazing in the tall grass. For the camera, it is an oasis of nature’s magnificence, a treat for both the young and old, and most importantly, parking is free.

Let’s move on to the late night comedy. “Hey, today is National Tap Dancing Day. Yes, this is the day we honor BP executives trying to explain the gulf oil disaster. One of the big gambling Web sites published odds on what species would be the first to become extinct from the oil spill. Unbelievable. You know the odds-on favorite? Democrat. Sarah Palin has now weighed in on the gulf oil spill. Finally, the voice of reason. Well, folks, it seems that oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, much worse than British Petroleum first reported. You know how bad it is? Yesterday, I checked the oil in my car, had seawater on it.” –Jay Leno

“John McCain is angry with British Petroleum. But in all fairness, he’s had a grudge against the British since the Revolutionary War.” –David Letterman “And because of the ocean currents, experts say oil from the Gulf could easily spread up the East Coast all the way to the Carolinas. In fact, today, people in North Carolina said they hadn’t seen anything this slick and slimy since the John Edwards campaign. And a Montana man has admitted that he killed a bald eagle, but his alibi is he thought it was a porcupine. How blind do you have to be to mistake a bald eagle for a porcupine? Anyway, the guy pleaded guilty so he could get back to his regular job inspecting oil rigs.” –Jay Leno

“Well, Memorial Day weekend is ahead. I know it’s only Wednesday, but you want to get a jump on being stuck at the airport for 24 hours. Memorial Day is the day we honor military heroes with a mattress blowout sale at Sleepy’s.” –David Letterman “And last week, Mexican President Felipe Calderóne spoke at the White House. He called for a ban on assault weapons, and he also wanted to know why do we keep calling Taco Bell Mexican food?” –Jay Leno

So that’s our last post for the month of May. NBC News and I friend of mine named Katrina reported on Thursday that somewhere between 19 and 39 million gallons of oil have been spilled into the Gulf of Mexico. We’re 41 days in and this catastrophe is still growing.

On May 30th, the costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan will pass $1 trillion. I guess that’s why our libraries are closed on Fridays. But on the plus side, NBA playoff fans got their money’s worth during the western conference finals between the Suns and Lakers. The Black Mamba, Kobe Bryant, showed once again why he’s mentioned in the same sentence as Michael Jordan and Jack Bauer. He’s an assassin in sneakers.

So have a relaxing Memorial Day and perhaps take a moment to reflect on what this holiday is all about. Well, either that or just savor the special feeling one gets from the three day weekend experience.

And finally, here’s some good news, as a new remake of “Hawaii Five-O” is coming back to CBS this fall. So although I may not be living the aloha lifestyle, I can proudly proclaim, “Lucky I TiVo Hawaii.”

On that Polynesian note, congratulations to all those people in the cap and gown mode. You and your families have a lot to be proud of. So get ready for the Celtics and the Lakers and we’ll catch you behind the three point line. Aloha, mahalo and later, Steve Nash fans.

Good morning and greetings, offshore drilling fans. It’s not a pretty scene off the coast of Lousiana, as millions of gallons of bubbling crude, black gold, Texas tea are spilling out into the ocean water off the coast of Louisiana. In the words of Bill Maher, “the Gulf of Mexico is now the Gulf of Texaco.”

It would be nice if we could send those Goldman Sachs boys down there to clean up the mess, but they only seem to be interested in profiting from other people’s misfortune while denying any wrongdoing. Watching Senator Carl Levin and his gang grill those executives was truly stunning political theatre. I haven’t seen that kind of anger from our elected officials since they upped the prices of smoothies at the Senate Snack Shack. As Olivia Newton John once told me about Wall Street, “greed is the word.”

As many of you know from my CB handle, I like to think of myself as “Mr. Positive.” When I look at my sippy cup, it is always half full. With this in mind, the other day my wife sent me an email describing the 89,000 ways sugar is bad for you. This was followed by a report on NBC News on the evils of added sugar and its relation to heart disease. A few days later came another NBC report on our over intake of salt. My first thought was, I’ve got to stop watching so much news. But then it hit me like a Muhammad Ali left hook-when did everything besides TV become bad for us?

Now, I don’t mean there aren’t still good things in life, like the smell of a rose, the laughter of a child or TiVo, but I’m referring to our more basic needs. Without going into any depressing details about our air, food, water or Chinese food, it seems as though the basic things we ingest all contain materials that are not good for us. Even the sun is harmful. My question is, what happened? In the words of the group Ambrosia, “how long has this been going on? Why is McDonald’s not a happy meal?

So as of late, I’ve been watching my added sugar intake like my golden retriever watches the Judge Judy. They say women can handle 100 grams a day and men 150 grams. The report said a can of soda had 170 grams of sugar with no nutritional value. In that case Mountain Dew, I say, Mountain Don’t. They also said one scoop of vanilla ice cream contained 92 grams of added sugar. Since that day, I’ve stuck with chocolate. And you know, dark chocolate is good for you. Yeah, the Easter Bunny told me that.

The bottom line is, I LOVE SUGAR. I love sweet and sour sauce or when someone says I’ll keep it short and sweet. Chocolate, cookies, chocolate, anything sweet works for me. But one of my daughter’s vocabulary words last week was moderation and that’s my new key. I’m going to have my blood tested today to check my cholesterol levels and then I’m seeing my doctor next week. So it could be goodbye, my old friend sugar, it was nice knowing you. But do me a favor, please leave me your forwarding address.

On to this week’s photo regalia. Last Tuesday brought us one last day of April showers. Since I didn’t have anything in mind for this week’s lineup, I laced up my hiking boots and headed into my front yard to shoot some flowers in the rain. And then to make it into a cardio workout, I walked around the block to complete the neighborhood watch package. You can see that a little precipitation performs wonders on the photographic front. Or as Lili Von Shtupp would say about photo #4, “a wed wose. How womantic.”

Let’s head to the late night action. “Last week, President Obama gave a speech in New York City about his plan to reform these rules on Wall Street. And one embarrassing moment. When the head of Goldman Sachs was going through security, he was asked to empty his pockets and five Republican senators fell out. During the economic meltdown, employees at the SEC were using government computers to watch pornography. Ironically, while they were watching porn, the other employees were watching Goldman Sachs screw the entire country. One good thing came out of this volcano in Iceland. Economists say consumers can expect a huge drop in the price of lava lamps.” –Jay Leno

“Former President George W. Bush is working on his memoirs. The title is ‘Decision Points.” It narrowly edged out his original title, which was ‘My Bad.’ Crown Publishing has given a November release date for what they’re saying is an incredibly honest account of key decision in the President’s life. There’s a whole chapter dedicated to smooth vs. crunchy.” –Jimmy Kimmel “Former President Bush is writing his autobiography about his eight years in the White House. He’s not done with it yet, but he’s already put up the mission accomplished banner.” –David Letterman ”

David Letterman’s Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through George W. Bush’s Mind As He Wrote His Memoirs
9. ‘Is 36 pages enough?’ 6. ‘How cool is it that I was president? Come on, up high!’ 4. ‘Chapter Eight: The day I went 5-for-5 in White House T-ball. And no gimmies. All ropes!’ “1,000 signed, cloth-bound copies will be sold for $350 each. Each one will say: ‘Thanks for reading about my decisions. Sincerely, Dick Cheney.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“You know what happened today down in Washington, D.C.? The world champion New York Yankees visited the White House. It was a beautiful day. President Obama charged them $25 for a hot dog and a warm beer. It was quite a change for the New York Yankees, going from ‘The House That Ruth Built’ to ‘The House That Bush Wrecked.’ Here’s a nice story. President Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, took the weekend off. They went hiking in North Carolina. Had a great time. And so he wouldn’t get lost, Obama left behind a trail of cigarette butts.” –David Letterman

“Arizona’s Governor had been stalling on signing the immigration bill. She said it did not reflect any ambivalence. She just wanted to make sure her pool was clean and her lawn was mowed before she signed.” –Bill Maher “The movie ‘Avatar’ is out on DVD today. James Cameron wanted it to be released on Earth Day because nothing says ‘save the planet’ like millions of plastic DVD cases.” –Craig Ferguson “President Obama is now considering giving approval for the development of a hyper-supersonic missile that can reach anywhere in the world in an hour. It’s a joint venture between the U.S. military and Domino’s Pizza.” –Jay Leno

So that’s the first blast of fun and color for the new month. For NBA playoff watchers, April was fairly fantastic. Let’s just say I’m not unexcited about May. And let’s hope that they can put a cap of that oil well or this newest spill will make the Exxon Valdex incident look like a plate of Baked Alaska. We’ll catch you along the baseline. Aloha, mahalo and later, Deron Williams fans.

Good morning and greetings, Ted Kennedy fans. The Senator from Massachusetts passing was a sad day and the final note played by three incredible brothers.

On Wednesday morning, I was strolling along West Cliff Drive, wondering what to feature in this week’s photo funhouse. Pelicans were cruising by over the tops of the waves, causing me to pause in my tracks and gaze at the magnificence of these prehistoric looking creatures. I immediately thought, only along the edge of the continent do you see this kind of magic. Or on PBS, the Pelican Broadcasting System.

At the same time, the sky was a dull gray, unlike the exciting gray of my New York Giants sweatshirt. But soon this drabness turned to excitement, the same kind Alexander Graham Bell must have felt when he called for Watson to get the hell in there. I knew what I wanted to bring to the Sunrise Santa Cruz table. No, not the usual Chinese buffet with egg rolls, beef chow fun and sweet and sour chicken. It was serving up an entree of fabulous color for my cyber audience at early bird prices. And you don’t even need to bring a coupon.

Then on Thursday, the weather broke and we had deep blue skies and wild-looking clouds along the coast. And it was hot! How hot was it? A saw a dog walking after a cat. I thought this change may have signaled the start of our annual Indian Summer, which is not to be confused with Native American winter. But that was not the case as the following day the thermometer hit 99 degrees on the central coast, breaking the previous record of 97 set in 1962. All this heat was the result of a high-pressure system that had double parked along the coast, essentially shutting off the usual Pacific Ocean breeze. It was so hot that even my goldfish were sweating.

Friday morning we were greeted with a beautiful sunrise, as the sky glowed orange to the east and pink to the west. Unfortunately, I was still camera-less as I believe the parts required to fix my digital Rebel are coming to Santa Cruz by rowboat. It was the first color-coordinated morning of the summer and it was painful not to shoot it but as the Dalai Lama once told me, the sun will rise again. So I’ve got that going for me, which is good.

Let’s continue with Disney’s wonderful world of color. As I drive along the westside, I pass a front yard that explodes with pinks and reds-it is dahlia city. Ah, dahlias. They are spectacular summer and autumn flowering plants who are native to the mountains of Mexico, Central America and certain sections of the New Jersey shore. It is also the national flower of Mexico and goes quite well with any kind of quesadilla, be it cheese, chicken or my personal favorite, carne asada.

In the 16th century Spanish conquistadors, while busy pillaging and wiping out the Aztec Indian nation, took some time out from their conquering and listening to Charo CD’s to get in touch with their feminine side. In between their dividing and conquering they managed to do a little exploring and turned these little side trips into a collection of new world plant life, Spanish rice and the first Antonio Banderas film festival.

The dahlia is named after 18th century Swedish botanist Anders Dahl, who was a very attractive man. It was actually from him that the expression was coined, “Hey, dahlface.” But I digress. In 1872, a box of dahlia roots were sent by FedEx overnight from Mexico to the Netherlands. Only one of the plants and a Three Muskateers bar survived the long journey, but it produced brilliant red flowers with petals that were pointed, rolled back and were later big hits at Christopher Columbus book signing events.

Nurserymen, nursery school teachers and hair stylists from all over Europe bred from this one plant. These are the progenitors of the thousands of varieties of today’s modern day dahlias. Colors include orange, pink, purple, red, scarlet, yellow, white and apples, peaches and pumpkin pie, the last three courtesy of Jay and the Techniques.

I shot these photos on a foggy morning, thus the shots of dew on the petals are particularly prevalent in photos 3 & 4. Or as Jerry Garcia once said to Mountain Girl, “Walk me out in the morning dew, my honey.” Well, that’s it on the flower power front. Time for me to just kick back, pop some kettle corn and watch that Clint Eastwood classic, “A Fistful of Dahlias.”

Onto the some political humor. And it’s all from CBS’s late night king, David Letterman. “Congress has been agonizing over health care for months now. Squabbling, fighting, the town hall meetings going crazy. Meanwhile, while they’re arguing about health care, we’re stuck in two wars that were rubber-stamped in about 10 minutes. What? How does that make any sense when you think about it? The Obamas taking a vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. When something like that happens, it’s like a big deal for the community. And people on Martha’s Vineyard are going crazy and they’re buying Obama T-shirts, they’re buying Obama mugs, they’re buying Obama caps. The only thing they’re not buying is Obama’s health-care plan.”

“You folks excited about the Afghanistan election? Well, don’t get too excited because there’s already reports of irregularities in Broward and Dade County. The current Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, is opposed by the Taliban. You know the Taliban? Over here, the Taliban, we call them healthcare protestors. But one of the guys on the ballot is a candidate named Abdullah Abdullah. He had what I thought was a great campaign slogan if you’re running for office in Afghanistan. You know the slogan? It’s ‘Is your goat better off today than it was four years ago?”

“But the Miss Universe pageant is fascinating. It’s judged on poise, judged on beauty, and also how you walk in high heels. What a coincidence, it’s also how the Republicans pick a vice presidential candidate. The same criteria. But you know, this is a great thing about the United States of America. We take any situation, make it something good. You know, we are a glass half full country. Mrs. Paul’s, the fish sticks people, they heard about the mercury in the fish and they’ve come out now with a tasty new fish stick which you can also use to take your temperature.” –David Letterman

So that’s it for our last blast of August, 2009. Coming up is September, which is the warmest temperature month of the year in Santa Cruz but more importantly, signals the start of NFL football. So enjoy the warm days and nights and we’ll catch you somewhere near the foul pole in right field. And be thankful for your good health. Aloha, mahalo and later, Don Mattingly fans.

Good morning and greetings, summer lovers. Last week, we journeyed on a trip south to Costa Rica, where monkeys roam the jungle landscape like Republicans roam the Congressional floor in their campaign in to snuff out plans for national healthcare. Well, today here at Sunrise Santa Cruz, we are raising the skirt stakes as we’re bringing in another guest blogger. He’s been on the pre-med path since exiting the womb, but more importantly, has been shooting with confidence and knocking down his three pointers this summer, which will be of great benefit to the thousands, er hundreds, er, dozen PCS basketball fans and his teammates next season. On that note, I present to you, in his own words, a point guard who loves pushing it up in the open court, Jason Sean Gilbert.

Hola, and welcome to this week’s blog. I was thinking about writing this whole thing in Spanish for bilingual readers, but I would have to re-read my Espanol 2 textbook to figure out how to say “Late Night Political Jokes”. Since my sister did last week’s write up, I felt obligated to share with you my experience of the beautiful Rich Coast (Costa Rica). And my dad was bugging me to do it.

Anyway, our journey first landed us in Arenal; a small town named after it’s active volcano that spits out more fire than Stan Van Gundy during a timeout. This segueways into this week’s backup blog titles “Arenal these Pictures Great” and “Why Arenal the Blogs as Good as this One?” The first picture is the magnificent view outside our window. At night, if it’s not cloudy, one is able to see the red lava on the top like a flame at the end of a candle. And here would be my dad’s first rock and roll reference, The Doors “Light My Fire”.

The second picture (top right) is from a hike that we took to get to the beach one morning. It’s an amazing picture that defines the natural beauty of Costa Rica. These types of shots are almost ubiquitous around the country, just like gallopinto (rice dish served on all the menus), soccer, and mosquito bites.

The next picture is of 11 crocodiles relaxing in Rio Tarcoles (accent on the “i” and “a”). I was talking to our driver (in his native tongue, of course) and I asked him if there were any crocodiles near the Pacific Coast. He said, “Si” and he drove us to the river and parked the car. At first, we couldn’t see them but sure enough as we walked along the narrow sidewalk on the highway, we saw these giant, dinosaur-like creatures. They were scaly beasts that looked almost unreal. They were floating around, wading in shallow waters, not really doing much, kind of like the Golden State Warrior’s defense. It was an incredible site that I had never seen before.

For our next image, we see an iguana. In my in-depth google research, I could not figure out which type of iguana this is. Nevertheless, one day, this reptile surprised us while we were eating lunch and parked itself right under the table, like our dog Summer. It was just two feet away from each of us and thankfully it didn’t try to take any of our legs off. Iguanas do bite although they have very small teeth. We saw many different iguanas during our stay in Manual Antonio, including one across the way up in a tree. This was a green iguana, although some are not green in color. It was beautiful with a reddish hue, or maybe it was just wearing a new Trevor Ariza jersey. (Let’s see how many basketball references I can make in one blog)

The fifth picture is of a toucan we found in the Manual Antonio National Park. I put this picture hear (misspelled for pun) to symbolize all the noise that the birds were making. There was always a background noise of chirping, squawking, and yelping (oh wait, that was my cousin Miles). The birds had a constant rhythm going. The loudest bird noise was from the Three-Wattled Bell birds. They omit a high, screeching sound that gives one a genuine jungle feel.

The last but not least picture is of another capuchin white-face monkey. Aimee did a pretty good job of explaining what they were so I won’t bore you and explain it again. Plus, she stole the better picture. These monkeys were right up above our heads, eating coconuts then dropping it on us. It was incredible how they moved around, jumping from tree to tree with ease. They were very friendly and the tour guide told us we could have reached out and fed them.

All in all, Costa Rica was an amazing experience that I will forever remember. Now it’s time to go back to the blogger who can still hit the three, unfortunately when playing me one on one. Adios!

Thank you, Jason. You know what they say in Hawaii, the papaya doesn’t fall far from the tree. Now on to the important late night political jokes of the week.

“Good News for California. This just came out. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has apparently found a way to close the state’s $26 billion budget shortfall. Now I can’t get into all the details, but in short, Fresno is now part of China. “Gov. Sanford is still trying to recover from his sex scandal. This is the latest. This weekend, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford wrote an editorial apologizing for his behavior. I’m not sure he’s sincere, though, because it starts out, ‘Dear Penthouse.’” –Conan O’Brien “Several weeks ago, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford disappeared without explanation for five days. Now of course, as it turns out, he didn’t really disappear. It turns out he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Which is a trail that starts in Maine and ends in an Argentine woman’s vagina.” –Jon Stewart

President Obama recently said that the best way to pay for his health care plan is to raise taxes on people like him. As a result, the government is raising taxes on all half-Kenyan, half-Kansan presidents who were born in Hawaii.” –Conan O’Brien “Did you guys see Michelle Obama last night? She just got a new haircut. It’s the first real cut of the Obama Administration.” –Jimmy Fallon “The Republicans had been running a surprisingly effective campaign against the proposal for national healthcare, but the President found a very clever way to get them on board. Behind the scenes, he offered a key provision that would provide free breast implants for their girlfriends.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“This weekend, it’s very cool. It’s the fortieth anniversary of the moon landing, considered by some to be mankind’s greatest achievement. … Unless, of course, you count the time we put the cheese inside the pizza crust.” “Yesterday, Sonia Sotomayor’s questioning finally came to an end. Sotomayor said that she had received a ‘gracious and fair’ hearing. Her exact quote was, ‘Thanks a lot, you old honkies. I’m outta here. You can kiss my a**.’” –Conan O’Brien The tag Republicans kept throwing to hang around Sonia Sotomayor’s neck was ‘reverse racist.’ They said, you know, it’s reverse racists like her that give regular racists like them a bad name.” –Bill Maher

“Here’s news from Pakistan. They believe now, intelligence believes, that a US missile attack about six months ago killed one of Osama bin Laden’s sons. And the CIA believes that it was the hot-tempered Sonny.” –David Letterman “Walter Cronkite’s influence on the news is still felt today, in that news anchors still wear ties. Other parts of his legacy have become obsolete. For instance, dispassionate reporting is fine for covering the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention, but not for an issue as complex as Octomom. Sadly, Cronkite’s passing is not getting the kind of cable news attention I believe it deserves. I watched the coverage this weekend and I didn’t see one helicopter shot of his home. I don’t even think his family has booked the Staples Center yet.” –Stephen Colbert

So that ends our latest installment of “What my children did on their summer vacation.” And speaking of children, congratulations go out to my daughter Aimee, who yesterday celebrated her Bat Mitzvah before a packed house here on the westside. This provided me the opportunity to acknowledge the love and joy that friends and family bring into our lives. It was a tremendous day and one I shall cherish and remember forever, or at least till Aimee says to me, “Dad, this is my boyfriend, Todd.”

As I write this, I can still feel the warm glow eminating from my heart after yesterday’s family affair. So enjoy the summer as it rolls along and we’ll catch you on the warning track. Aloha, mahalo and later, Ronnie Guidry fans.

Good morning and greetings, tax-paying fans. Well, we finally got some much-needed moisture here on the central coast as a storm system from the Eastern Pacific blew in on Thursday which was ollowed by a second system from the Gulf of Alaska on Friday, bringing smiles to the faces of children, farmers and umbrellas salesmen.

Which brings to mind the question, what to do on a rainy day besides go to work? Some people like to stay curl up inside and read a good book, others like to hit the movie theatres and then they’re people like my friend Dan who went for a hike in Nisene Marks State Park to “see what all this long overdue moisture was doing for the local fungus community.” He sent me some beautiful photos-I haven’t seen mushrooms that colorful since they rested on a bed of extra wide egg noodles from my most recent culinary entanglement with beef stronganoff.

So as the rain fell I thought, let’s head outdoors and check out the wonders of moisture. But where to go to feel those raindrops keep falling on my head-West Cliff to see the surging sea, Four Mile to check out the bird life or to the University to see the majestic redwoods? Ultimately, I opted for the sidewalk less traveled and just walked around the block to check out the local scenery so as not leave a carbon footprint, just a size 11.

The morning rain always does wonders for the close-up shots. There were so many flowers and brilliant colors to choose from in Mr. Rogers neighborhood as the plants seemed as happy as Pittsburgh Steeler fans to be taking in the precipitation. I encourage all of you to go for a walk in the rain or to paraphrase Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground, “Take a walk on the wet side.”

On to our political humor segment. Not a whole lot really caught my eye this week but here are a few that brought a smile to my face and a hug to my heart. “This week, on CNN, they have been showing a blueprint of the White House to help viewers visualize the layout of the West Wing. Yeah, when he saw it, former President Bush said, ‘So that’s where the bathroom was.’” -Conan O’Brien. In an interview with Al-Arabiya, an Arab-language news channel, President Obama said that he wanted to persuade Muslims that the Americans were not your enemy. In an early sign of improvement, the crowd of protestors outside began chanting, ‘Injury to America.’ So that’s better.” -Seth Meyers of Saturday Night Live. And “right after Sunday’s Super Bowl, President Barack Obama placed a congratulatory phone call to the Steelers from his BlackBerry. Meanwhile, John McCain called the Cardinals from his ham radio.” -David Letterman.

And here’s a few more from the late night boys. “This weekend, the Republican National Committee elected their first-ever African-American chairman. His name is Michael Steele, or as he’s known in the Republican Party, ‘the black guy.’” -Conan O’Brien. “Tuesday was Groundhog Day, and I don’t know why this stuff always goes haywire in Alaska. Here is what happened. A little bit of trouble. Groundhog comes out of its hole. Sarah Palin shoots it.” -David Letterman.

Now, moving on to the Governor du jour. “Oh, boy, the Illinois senators were mad, they voted to impeach 59-0. Not only was he Blagojevich convicted, his hairdresser was given the death penalty.” -Jay Leno. And for our last note on politics, “You know it’s interesting, when Bill Clinton needed stimulus for his package, he just called an intern.” -David Letterman.

Finally, I’d like to take a moment to send birthday wishes to my favorite mother. On Sunday, she celebrated her 83rd birthday and it harkened me back to the moment we first met. All of a sudden, the warm, soothing hot tub I was relaxing in disappeared and I bravely began my journey down the birth canal. Like a salmon heading upstream to spawn I breached the Manhatten air, looked up and thought, “Are both those for me?” Before I could say “Help, Dr. Spock” a nurse shoved a bottle in my mouth, and I was left in state of shock and disappointment, or the same feelings I experienced when I saw my SAT scores. Anyway, I let go of those lingering emotions months ago and now I can look at my mother and say, “Ah, maybe next time.” That’s what being an adult and being responsible for your emotions is all about.

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s show. If I’ve learned anything on my brief time here on this planet, it’s just to take life one day at a time. That’s really all we can do. Well, that and always carry a litter bag in your car. Because in the words of Steve Martin, “If it fills up, you can always throw it out the window.”

So now that the NFL football season is finally over we can now focus on something more important than someone carrying a pigskin across a goal line-NBA basketball. Kobe Bryant and the Lakers are on a mission which will be interesting to watch come playoff time. One more note. Besides my mother’s birthday, the highlight of the weekend was seeing my son pull off a 360 spin move in the air and finish with a layup. Fortunately my brother Brad was there to see it experience the moment with me. You know what they say, Coast Athletic League Basketball, “Where Amazing Things Happen.” We’ll catch in the low post. Aloha and later, David Lee and David Lee Roth fans.

Good morning and welcome to the final week of summer 2008. Last week I once again gently awoke to the sound of rain. This time however, after hearing the droplets falling from the sky, I wondered not about the spider webs but instead what the moisture would look like on the flowers in my yard. As you can see from today’s photo lineup, when one adds water to the floral mix it gives the subject and predicate a rather classic wet look.

You veterans readers of this blog know that I like to report on late breaking stories of the day. Important issues like global warming, the senseless war in Iraq and the absurdity of John McCain calling Barack Obama an “elitist” when he himself owns 9 homes in 3 times zones and travels by private jet. Well, here’s an international news story that I believe search warrants my attention.

Strict new laws went into affect across Switzerland on September 1 that have some bankers, watchmakers and chocolate salesmen wondering if legislators have overreacted in efforts to safeguard the animal kingdom. The new legislation spells out in exhaustive detail how all animals are to be treated, whether they be pets, farm animals, domestic partners or destined for scientific experiments. Wild animals are also covered by the law if they reside in zoos, circuses or are related to Siegfried or Roy.

Remember the old royal flush? Well, now our little gold friends are now afforded a much more dignified death as it is now illegal to flush live goldfish, brook trout or poached salmon down the toilet. The law stipulates that they must first be knocked out, breaded, lightly sauteed and killed before being disposed of. Fishermen may no longer use live bait, practice catch-and-release fishing or enjoy their catch without tartar sauce.

On the domestic front, common household pets such as hamsters, parrots and piranhas can no longer be kept by themselves. The same applies for more exotic breeds such as lamas, alpacas and yaks (who are always talking.) Even sheep, goats and wolverines must have at least “a visual contact with their fellows,” according to the new law, if text messaging is not available.

Man’s “best friend,” comes in for special treatment as dog owners will be obliged by law to take special classes on how to raise Fido properly so he is less likely bite, scratch or hump your leg like it’s Tuesday. And Swiss dog-owners wishing to “customize” their pets as a fashion accessory will not be allowed to crop their tails or ears, force them to have surgery to get droopy ears or make them watch any of Eddie Murphy’s “Dr. Doolittle” movies.

But one cannot help but wonder (or in the words of Robert Plant, “And it makes me wonder”) if the animals would really welcome all the provisions Swiss lawmakers have generously bestowed upon them. Pigs, for example, are often said to be happiest when rolling around in the mud — but now they have the legal right to a shower to freshen up. They also want pigs to have the rights to attend day spas and receive facials and massages just like any other European politician. The country’s leading animal rights group, STS, say the new laws doesn’t go far enough and want animals to have free speech, the right to vote and most importantly, bear arms.

That’s the news from the European desk. On the weather front Hurricane Ike has wreaked havoc on the Galveston and Houston area of Texas and done a complete number on the island of Haiti. People are really suffering. So enjoy the flowers, be glad you have power and are not walking around in mud and we’ll catch you on the far sideline. Aloha, New York Giants fans.

Good morning and greetings, Guns N Roses fans. Today we are once again going “old school,” back to the days before digital photography became my best friend. It has become the pleasant obsession that is constantly on call in my cerebellum. Or to put it in simpler terms, in the words of the Doobie Brothers, “What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits.” Or as the Army recruiters like to say about being a landscape and nature photographer, “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.”

For today’s photo journey we’ll start by heading north to San Francisco’s most famous landmark. No, not Barry Bonds flaxseed oil farm, but the mysterious and lovely Golden Gate Bridge, where they are not only raising the one-way toll crossing to $6 but also having discussions on suicide barriers. We then hop back on my Harley Maxima and head down to another very visually pleasing landmark along the coast, the sea of yellow grass at Pigeon Point. Then it’s back to the sand along the San Mateo County cliffs at San Gregorio Beach. When I saw the sun glistening on this fast moving creek as it rushed towards the Pacific I had to come to a jump stop, take off my chaps and get down and funky to capture this gull filled moment.

We then cruise out to lovely Palm Desert for some reflection action along the back fairway before moving on to the most outrageous sunset I’ve ever seen in the desert. This was a New Year’s day mother lode a few years back. When I saw these clouds lining up about an half hour before sunset I knew I was in for a desert treat. This was the real desert storm. We end today’s negative tour with a November sunrise at Lighthouse Point. I was shooting slides that day with Kodak Extra Color film and as you can see from the rouge in the sky and sand it was red delicious.

So here’s a story that’s going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Hold on to your holsters for this one. According to a new study by a gun control group, more than 30,000 firearms and legs are unaccounted for from gun dealers’ inventories nationwide.

Furthermore, the group, the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, says its finding probably underestimates the missing firearms. This is because the data that was used from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Drawers, Firearms and Explosives, was drawn from inspections that were conducted at gun dealerships in the 2007 fiscal year. Just 10,000 dealers were inspected, one-sixth of the nation’s total. So what they’re really saying is that it’s possible that perhaps it’s closer to 180,000 guns that are on the loose. I guess that’s why I’m wearing bullet proof shorts.

The center is calling for increased regulation of gun dealers. The way it is now, dealers need to keep a record of acquisition and disposition of firearms, but not a regular inventory. And remember Charlton Heston fans, guns don’t kill people, it’s people who kill people.

“We’ve seen that guns that dealers claim are lost are frequently sold to gun traffickers and sold off the books,” said Daniel Vice, a senior attorney for the Brady Center. I don’t know about you but I’m feeling Morley safer by the second.

The center was founded by James Brady and his wife, Sarah, after a 1981 assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan that left Brady, the White House press secretary, partly paralyzed. This center sees a direct correlation between missing firearms, street violence and MTV’s Spring Break.

And this may come as a shock to those of us not packing heat, but the National Rifle Association sharply criticized the report. “No one in America should place any faith in any alleged study coming from the Brady campaign,” NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam said. Once again, it’s not rifles with scopes that kill people, it’s snipers that kill people.

A spokesman for the firearms bureau, Nicholas Colucci, said that in his experience, many gun dealers did take inventory annually or even more frequently, although not required to do so by federal law. That reminds me of the line from “The Honeymooners” when Ralph tell his boss that 9 out of 10 bus drivers like to shoot pool after work. Then Norton chimes in, “Ralph, I think the average is higher than that.” Thanks, pal of mine.

Colucci also said shops from which most of the 30,000 weapons were missing had since gone out of business, some because their licenses had been revoked as a result of the inspections. No firearms were missing, he said, at 90 percent of the inspected businesses. Whew, I guess I can rest my bullets now. But I believe we can then go back to the original point of this story. What about the other five-sixths of the dealers who weren’t inspected?

That’s it for the news of the day. Tune in Wednesday when we’ll look at some more colors from the kalidescope of the life here on the central coast. I’ll leave you today with a quote from one of my favorite wordmeisters, Mr. David Lee Roth. He walked into a bar, sat down to have a drink as a rather attractive woman slithered over and said, “Nice gun.” Replied Diamond Dave, “Nice holster.”
I believe that sums up my feelings on gun control and Van Halen. Have a great day, enjoy the colors and get ready for Beijing. Later, Olympic fans.

Good morning and greetings from Santa Cruz, where the annual June gloom has been in full swing. Adding to the gloominess is the fact that a major fire is raging to the south of us in Big Sur and we’ve been receiving big-time smoke signals for over a week. Nothing like waking up and being greeted by ashes on my windshield. More on our state in flames later in the blog cast.

Last week on a somewhat dreary, fog-filled morning I was driving my son to his basketball camp in Capitola (photo #1) when I came upon a beautiful garden full of hollyhocks. These babies were at least 7-8 feet tall with a wingspan matching the Warrior’s number one draft pick Anthony Randolph. It was like driving by a basketball court-the colors were so striking that I had to stop and take a few shots. Here’s the inside scoop of these fantastic looking flowers.

Hollyhocks are believed to be of Asian origin, because they are depicted in Chinese art as early as the 9th century, before the invention of chop sticks and chopped liver. The plants were cultivated by Chinese peasants to symbolize the passing of time. Chinese peasants revered the cooked leaves as spring greens and the buds as a delicacy, the same way I revere a spring roll and a cream cheeses filled wonton. And for all you crab rangoon fans, the plants were brought to America in 1630 by the early descendants of Neil Diamond, who later wrote the song “Holly Holy.”

After its introduction to America in the 17th century, hollyhocks spread so quickly they were called alley orchids. The Spanish name for the plant is vanilla de San Jose. The French name is chocolate de Palo Alto. It is also known as San Jose’s wand. Why, I don’t know. Hummingbirds and butterflies find hollyhocks and my aftershave to be irresistible. Much like myself, hollyhocks are survivors, capable of enduring intense heat, drought, thin soils, freezing winters and and an up and down year by the New York Yankees. They now grow wild everywhere from the coast of the Black Sea to the foothills of New Mexico. Hollyhocks are used by herbalists as a cure for colds, sore throats and the summertime blues.

Back to the raging infernos. An unprecedented outbreak of lightning strikes ignited more than 800 wildfires in a single day across Northern California last week. This is what Lou Christie was referring to in his 1966 hit “Lightning Strikes-again and again and again and again.” A record dry spring and the worst drought in 100 years followed by early summer heat and freak electrical storm were responsible for one of the worst days for wildfires in the state’s history. That reminds me of the recently deceased George Carlin’s line about a freak accident-”three freaks in van ran into three freaks in a truck.”

Thick smoke obscured the sky and flyballs and reduced visibility to less than two miles in San Francisco. Bay Area meteorologists and chefs described the huge clouds of smoke and the Giant’s hitting as the worst since they moved here from New York. Even with out-of-state firefighters brought in at the request of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, the sheer number of blazes meant that many were left to burn out of control. The smoke from the fires has also created extremely unhealthful air quality and eerie shots of the sky for photographers to the north.

Currently there are 1,400 fires burning in central and northern California. As I mentioned before, two big fires, started by lightning last week, have merged together and are burning in the Big Sur. As of Saturday they had already torched an area of 42 square miles, approximately the size of San Francisco and continues to burn at a torrid pace. This Big Sur blaze is devastating an incredibly beautiful piece of U.S. coastline, what one writer refers to “as the greatest meeting of land and sea.” It’s odd to be writing about a disaster while it is still ongoing but hopefully these fires will be brought under control soon. It’s not just Paris burning. We’ve gone from the Golden State to the Orange Flame.

That’s it for our final blog of June, 2008. Coming up on Wednesday we’ll venture to the South Pacific and tell you about some angry native Hawaiians who want to reclaim their islands. Can’t say that I blame them. So enjoy the hollyhocks and let’s hope the firefighters can catch a break. We’ll catch you in July. Later, baseball fans.

Good morning and greetings from the windy west side of Santa Cruz. For Monday’s photo entertainment, we went with a montage of the color red. Today we are going to stay with the single color theme as we’re talking shades of green. We’re talking lime green, Lorne Greene and Al Green. We’re looking at pine cones and flowers on the west side, patterns on the rock at Laguna Creek Beach, extreme low tide at Four Mile Beach and a family of quackers at Neary Lagoon. We’ll be doing more of these color coded days as we’ve got mellow yellow, brilliant blue, outrageous orange and passionate purple waiting to take their cuts at the plate.

So what’s happening on the nature front this week? Well, according to a all-star team of California scientists, the earth may be on the verge of a massive release of methane similar to one that caused a global warming that ended the last “snowball” ice age. Writing in the journal Nature, lead researcher Martin Kennedy of UC Riverside suggested the same kind of warming could be about to occur, not over thousands of years but within a human lifetime In the words of the group Spirit, “It’s natures way of telling you something’s wrong.”

Methane is 25 times more potent as a greenhouse gas as carbon dioxide and 10,000 gigatons of frozen methane are stored zip lock bags in the world’s oceans and permafrost. The current trend of accelerated permafrost melting as the Arctic warms rapidly could release vast amounts of methane into the atmosphere, triggering a sudden climate change. Kennedy worries that rising carbon dioxide levels could drive enough warming to destabilize the Earth’s stored methane reserves. Says Kennedy, “Unzippering the methane reserve could potentially warm the Earth tens of degrees.” Personally, I live by the words of the lovely Carly Simon, “I haven’t gone time for the methane.”

Sunscreen lotions used by swimmers around the world are contributing to a phenomenon known as coral bleaching, (not to be confused with Cloris Leachman,) threatening the coral and the marine life that depend upon it. A study sponsored by the European Commission found that even tiny amounts of cream based UV filters used to protect the skin from the sun’s rays caused bleaching of the coral reefs.

The chemical compounds join climate change, industrial pollution, high UV radiation due to the “ozone hole” and talk radio as the leading threats to coral reefs. According the the report, an estimated 4,000 to 6,000 tons of sunscreen are released annually in water near coral reefs, with 25 percent of the sunscreen ingredients on skin released into water over the course of a 20 minute swim. And incidentally, this is after staying out of the water for an hour after eating.

Now onto my favorite story of the day. Beavers will soon be living in the lakes, streams and the Joan rivers of Scotland for the first time since before Mary Queen of Scots was executed in 1587. The beaver, Wally, Lumpy and Eddie Haskell were all hunted to extinction across Scotland in the 18th century and the government plans to capture four beaver families in Norway and then release them in the lochs of Argyll’s Wildlife Reserve.

When the animals are released next spring, it will mark the first time that native mammals have been reintroduced in Scotland. Scientists will closely monitor the beavers over the following five years to determine the impact on the local environment, economy and entertainment business before any decision is made on a wider reintroduction. “By bringing these useful creatures back to their natural environment, we will have the chance to restore a missing part our our world of wetland ecosystems and re-establish much needed natural processes,” said Alan Bantick, chairman of the Scottish Beaver Trail Steering Group. As far as the beavers are concerned, I say dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t.

That’s it for today’s look and world news and sports. I will leave you with the words of one Mr. Gary Wright. “I’ve just closed my eyes again. Climbed aboard the dream weaver train. Driver take away my worries of today. And leave tomorrow behind.” You know, after writing that, I really believe we can reach the morning light. Enjoy the green and get ready for the Lakers and Celtics to go at it in the NBA Finals. Let’s hope it’s as epic as the nature I saw today that I’ll blog out next week. Defense is desire. Later.

Good morning and welcome to our last blog for May 2008. Since my friend April Showers brings the NBA playoffs and May Flowers, I thought we’d end my favorite basketball month was some play-by-play and lots of color. These flowers are all from my delicious surroundings here on the west side. Lots of purple on display today as my daughter just informed me that it’s the last color on the rainbow. I tossed in the final shot because “somewhere over the rainbow, hummingbirds fly.”

On to the national news, sherpa lovers. The world’s last Hindu kingdom became the newest secular republic on Wednesday as Nepal’s lawmakers, led by Larry King and former communist insurgents, abolished the monarchy that had reigned over this Himalayan land for 239 years. Throughout the day, thousands of people marched, danced and sang “Free Bird” in the streets of Katmandu while waving red hammer-and-sickle flags. Meanwhile, as this scene played out, old King Gyanendra awaited his fate in the pink concrete palace that dominates the city’s center.

As expected, the newly elected Constituent Assembly declared the country a republic and abolished the monarchy by a vote of 560-4 as the king’s team only scored on a pair of safeties. “We have entered a new era today,” said Prime Minister Girija Prasad Koirala, calling Nepal’s rebirth as a republic “the dream of the whole nation.” Not since Rodney King and the Shah of Iran were deposed in a bloody 1979 Islamic revolution has one of the world’s monarchs been forced from his throne.

But while the end of Nepal’s royal dynasty may have come in a peaceful vote, the stage for the monarchy’s demise was set by a communist insurgency that bled Nepal for a decade, and a 2001 palace massacre in which a gunman, allegedly the crown prince, assassinated King Birendra and much of the royal family before killing himself. Gyanendra then assumed the throne. But the killings helped unravel the mystique surrounding a line of kings who had once been revered as reincarnations of the Hindu god Vishnu, and Gyanendra was dogged by rumors that he was somehow involved in the massacre and that he wasn’t really a vegetarian.

His 2005 seizure of power from a civilian government only made matters worse. He said he needed total authority to crush the Maoists, but he quickly began locking up peaceful opponents and insurance salesmen and found himself beset by an intensifying insurgency, a faltering economy and a weak backhand. A year later, weeks of massive protests forced Gyanendra to restore democracy, after which the Maoists came out of the Laura bush and began peace talks.

An interim government, meanwhile, slowly stripped away his power and glory. Gyanendra lost command of the army, his portrait was replaced by Mount Everest on the currency, the word “royal” was removed from the name of the national airline and references to the king were dropped from the national anthem. He was also forced to do his own laundry, conduct tours of the palace and scrub the palace toilets, a task referred to as a “royal flush.”

Gyanendra, who is believed to be personally wealthy with interests in tourism, tea, tobacco and tobasco sauce, also endured other indignities. His $3.1 million annual allowance was taken away, as were the queen’s beauticians and about half his ceremonial guards and forwards. Then came April’s vote for the assembly in which the fiercely republican Maoists won the most seats, all but sealing the fate of Joan Collins and the dynasty, which dates to 1769 when a regional ruler conquered Katmandu and united Nepal.

The Maoists say they are committed capitalists and have no intention of nationalizing industries, setting up collective farms or opening up chains of tanning salons. They have promised to bring sweeping change to this largely impoverished country that in many places more closely resembles medieval Europe than a modern nation.

Nepal also is still regularly troubled by political violence, as evidenced by a string of small bombings that hit Katmandu this week, including two on Wednesday. None of the bombs, two of which were picked by NBC for summer runs, caused any serious injuries. But they underscored how difficult it will be to fashion lasting peace in Nepal, where supporters of every major political party have been linked to killings since the start of the peace process. This Nepalese political bloodbath makes Clinton’s and McCain’s sniping at Barack Obama look like a love fest.

That’s our Friday show. Coming up on Monday we’ll start off the new month with something that have your friends and anenomes talking. So enjoy the spring colors, have a fabulous sports weekend and we’ll catch you in June Cleaver when we’ll take a look at the red planet, and I don’t mean Venus or Serena Williams. And don’t forget to follow your shot. Aloha.